u/LardyParty

She jumped off a bridge today. The police are looking for her body.

I posted a couple weeks ago where I provided a lot of background here: https://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarSOs/s/rM5QNKDkI6

After a family member kicked her out, she had a major crash out. Her final trigger was the fact that I wasn’t able to help with paying for a licensure exam she wants to take, and she blamed me for not being there for her.

She cussed me out and told me she was going to jump. Her sister-in-law later contacted me, saying someone had reported a woman jumping off a nearby bridge, and asked whether I knew whether she had gone home.

I’m ruined I’ve truly given everything I have; I’ve been supporting her through cancer treatments, multiple hospital stays, several overdoses, and heart failure over the last few months (and last year as well). I have nothing left.

I know this sounds unbelievable, but I’ve posted images of some of our text exchanges from the past week https://imgur.com/a/TtPNo9C

Just last Friday, after I told her I couldn’t help with some medical expenses and treatments because I’ve drained everything I have, she impulsively decided to be a s*x worker in another city. She wouldn’t talk or rationalize with me and blamed me for everything. I’ve also had to talk her down from a bridge multiple times, almost every day lately. The Imgur images are only a small sample. This has been ongoing for almost a year.

This is a nightmare.

Edit: I get the skepticism. I’ve been directly involved in everything I described. I wish it wasn’t real.

These last 10 months have been nothing short of a nightmare, and I honestly don’t know where to go from here.

I met someone while I was in the Philippines and we started dating. The first couple of months were great, but then things changed fast. Small things would set her off, like if I didn’t want to pay for something or do something she wanted, and it would escalate into full breakdowns, threats, and even suicide attempts.

She started accusing me of things I wasn’t doing, having intense emotional swings, and completely losing control during episodes.

I helped her get into therapy, which I paid for, and after a few sessions she was diagnosed with bipolar 1 and put on medication. But the meds didn’t seem to help. The cycles continued: emotional crashes, manic episodes, suicide threats, and hospitalizations. Twice last summer, she was hospitalized.

At the same time, I tried to help her get stable. I helped her build a resume and apply for jobs. She made it to final interview rounds multiple times, but would miss them or reschedule last minute because she didn’t have the energy.

Eventually, I had to return to the US, planning to go back later. But I couldn’t save enough money because I was paying for her Airbnb for three months after her cousin kicked her out. She believed everyone was against her, even when that wasn’t true.

Things kept getting worse. Every time I tried to break up, she would attempt suicide. I felt completely trapped.

Then in October, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I stayed in the US to work and send money for her treatment. She had surgery, but immediately went into another manic episode, started working at a bar, drank every night, and didn’t follow her treatment plan. The tumor started growing again.

She needed another surgery and radiation. I paid for everything because anytime I couldn’t, she would spiral into panic and self-harm attempts.

Eventually, I convinced her to go back to her province to be with family. For a couple of weeks, things were stable, but then a small argument with her mom triggered another episode and everything went downhill again.

By February, I couldn’t do it anymore. I was mentally, emotionally, and financially destroyed. I told her I couldn’t continue the relationship.

She responded by overdosing on a full bottle of tramadol. It was her fifth overdose attempt since we met.

She ended up in the hospital. In the Philippines, treatment is “pay first or no care.” I paid for everything again: antidotes, procedures, tests, and treatment. She had to be resuscitated twice while they drained fluid from around her heart.

I later found out she had signed a DNR during a manic episode, which her mom was able to cancel.

After this, she finally got access to government-covered psychiatric meds. But things still didn’t stabilize.

She started hallucinating, saying she saw “people without faces” trying to lure her to a bridge so she would jump. Her family would find her at night sitting on the bridge, talking to people who weren’t there.

She was admitted to a psych ward, but it was unsafe. There was minimal supervision, dangerous objects were left around, and she repeatedly harmed herself. She even knocked herself unconscious.

Again, I paid for everything.

At one point, she caused brain swelling from hitting her head and needed surgery. Later, she fell near the bridge again, likely from dehydration, and needed another operation.

Every time I said I couldn’t afford something, she would spiral and go back to the bridge.

A week later, because I didn’t respond fast enough while I was at a family event, she accused me of cheating and overdosed again, this time on cancer medication injections.

That led to cardiac arrest and fluid buildup around her heart. I paid for treatment again.

After that, she was diagnosed with stage B heart failure.

The bridge incidents kept happening.

Three days ago, she had another full manic episode, attacked her sister-in-law, who has been the only stable support for her, and then attacked me over text. That same sister-in-law has been under so much stress that she actually had a miscarriage.

She was found unconscious by the bridge again.

At this point, I have nothing left. Over the last six months, I’ve spent over $30,000 trying to keep her alive, mostly out of guilt, feeling like if I didn’t pay, she would die.

Right now, she’s unconscious again. She flatlined earlier and was revived. The doctor says she needs more treatment, IV support, and oxygen or she won’t make it. Oxygen is $600 a tank after the insurance discount. They literally told her family to be prepared to lose her if they don’t buy more oxygen.

I can’t afford it anymore.

Her family can’t either. They’ve pawned everything. Her mom can’t work. Her stepdad spends what little money he makes on drugs. Her sister is maxed out on pay advances and facing termination.

I don’t want her to die.

But I’ve done everything I possibly can.

I’m completely drained emotionally, mentally, and financially, and I don’t know what the right thing to do is anymore.

I also can’t understand why she keeps doing this, and I can’t understand a healthcare system where life-saving care depends on whether someone can pay upfront.