They separated about 2 years ago and she moved out of country with their child. We've been dating for a year and are very happy, except ive told him for 3 months that i wont continue to date a man thats still legally married and not taking action to change that. I set a deadline for hiring a lawyer and starting the paperwork after inaction following the first time I addressed it. He says all the right things to quell my concerns when we talk, but when it comes down to it, something at work/family/etc always seems to take priority and he still hasn't hired a lawyer, months later. He says it's bc hes been extraordinarily busy at work (which is true) and not able to focus on it, and it has nothing to do with not wanting to get a divorce, plus it's more expensive than he anticipated and has had a lot of recent financial burdens to juggle (also true). Also he says hes had trouble finding a lawyer with experience handling when one party lives outside the continental US? He acknowledged ive been more than patient and said he'll get right on it. I shouldn't have to nag him to do this, and he insists he's getting on it, but now a family emergency popped up and I know the deadline is going to pass with no real progress. Im prepared to hold my boundary and tell him im stepping back from the relationship. It just really sucks bc it's the best relationship either of us have ever been in and ive felt confident for a while now that this is the relationship I want to pursue into the future... Until this. I deserve someone that will move Heaven and earth to be with me and do something he agreed was more than reasonable. What started as a hurdle is turning into a big red flag. I guess im venting more than asking for advice. Im just feeling unsure of what stepping back really looks like. The boundary i initially set was hiring a lawyer, but now that we've gotten to this point im feeling like I should limit contact until he's actually divorced, because hiring a lawyer and filing are very different and he could just drag out the finalizing the same way hes dragged out this part. Hes a huge part of my life, but im at a point that i want to build a future with someone thats not still legally attached to his past. I know what I deserve and what I have to do. I just really wish it didnt have to come to this.
》》also: is addressing this over text when hes otw home from the family emergency bad? I express myself more honestly and completely when I can write it out, and i like that he can read and re-read so no points are missed. I worry that trying to do it in person, he'll just say whatever the right thing is and I'll back down and let him keep dragging it out because I love him so much and dont actually want to step back.