I genuinely don’t understand how this turned into such a big issue, so I’m asking here.
At the end of last year, my friends (28f) and I (25f) planned a girls trip to LA. Full itinerary, all set:
- Day 1: fly in
- Day 2: Koreatown
- Day 3: Universal Studios
- Day 4: beach day
- Day 5: check out and fly home
Recently, I started seeing someone who lives in LA. Since we’re long distance and don’t get to see each other often, I told my friends that instead of going to the airport with them on Day 5, I’m going to stay one extra day to spend time with my friend.
Important context:
- I am not missing a single planned activity
- I’ll be fully present for the entire trip
- I’m not asking them to change anything or cover any extra costs
- The ONLY difference is I’m not getting on the same flight home
That’s it.
They are now calling me selfish because it’s a “girls trip” and apparently that means I shouldn’t be seeing anyone else at all. It’s escalated to the point where they’ve given me an ultimatum: either I fly home with them as originally planned, or There is no trip.
I would understand if this was a genuine safety concern, the thing is I know this guy, our families know each other and they are aware that I would be visiting him, no one has an issue with this other than my two friends that I am going to this trip with.
I’m honestly confused because… how is it selfish to extend my own trip by one day on my own time? I’m not taking anything away from the group. I’m just not ending my trip the exact same way they are. I even said i am willing to check out of the hotel with them so that they don't have to worry about late charges, even though the hotel was under my card.
At this point it feels less like concern and more like they think they get a say in what I do with my own time. I do feel bad as we have been friends for a long time, but i just don't think this is an appropriate way to show concern and feel like i am being held back from doing something i have the right to do.
So AITA for refusing to cancel my extra day and just flying home with them to keep the peace?