I’m looking for outside perspective because I genuinely can’t tell what’s real right now. I’m in a long‑distance relationship (2 months officially, talking longer), and my partner is in nursing school finals. He’s extremely stressed and exhausted, and I’m dealing with a lot of anxiety and ROCD symptoms at the same time.
I have diagnosed OCD and anxiety, and when I’m overwhelmed I start reading into every small shift in tone, wording, or timing. Lately my nervous system feels like it’s stuck at 110%. I’m not sleeping well, I’m hypervigilant, and I keep spiraling about the relationship even though nothing concrete has happened.
I have some other very big life stressors at the moment and it feels like everything hit at once, and my brain is looking for danger everywhere.
My partner has been less emotionally expressive lately. He still talks to me every day and still says he loves me, but he’s more tired, more flat, and less affectionate in his wording. He’ll say things like “I think so” instead of “yes,” or he won’t say “I miss you” or “I’m excited to see you” the way he used to.
At the same time, I feel myself pulling back emotionally out of fear. I hate that I’m doing that, but it feels like a protective reflex.
What I want (but feel guilty about):
I want reassurance from him, something like “we’re okay, I’m not going anywhere, I love you, I’m excited about us.” But I also know he’s in finals and doesn’t have the emotional bandwidth for a heavy conversation. He hates conflict and serious talks, and honestly, so do I. I don’t want to dump this on him right now or make him feel like he’s failing me when he’s just overwhelmed.
Given all of this… does this relationship sound healthy and sustainable? Or am I expecting too much emotional expression during a time when he’s genuinely depleted?
Is this just a rough patch caused by stress on both sides, or is it a sign of something deeper?
I’m not looking for “break up” advice, I’m trying to understand whether what I’m experiencing is normal for long‑distance + finals + anxiety, or whether I’m ignoring real incompatibilities.
Any grounded, honest perspective would help.
TLDR: Long‑distance relationship, 2 months in. My partner is in nursing finals and has become less emotionally expressive (shorter messages, less “I miss you,” etc.). He still talks to me daily and says he loves me, but he’s clearly stressed and tired. I have diagnosed OCD/anxiety and a lot of life stress right now, so my nervous system is in overdrive and I can’t tell what’s real vs anxiety. I’m scared the relationship isn’t sustainable, but I also know this might just be finals + ROCD. Looking for grounded outside perspective on whether this sounds like normal stress or actual relationship issues.