I (23F) have been getting really close to a guy (34M) I met at a coffee shop I’ve been going to for years. He’s been a regular there too, but we only started talking (talking like just like that not in the dating talking way lol) about 7 months ago.
Now we see each other twice a week and basically spend 3–4 hours together just talking and playing chess. (He taught me like 3 months ago) On top of that, we text a lot during the week and we play online chess when we’re not at the café.
At first it was just casual like we just sat and talk for 3 hours or so, but it’s slowly become this really consistent, warm connection. We have a lot of inside jokes (like him pretending to hate my reality shows but still listening to me talk about them for hours), and he’s generally more playful and open with me than anyone else I’ve seen him interact with.
He’s also kind of an introvert. One of the first things we did together was take a personality quiz (I'm ENFJ & He is INTJ). He has been a regular for so long, but he just didnt talk until I came around.
A few things that are confusing me:
- He’s taken multiple candid photos of me on his film camera (I’ve only seen one so far; the rest haven’t been developed yet)
- He once brought a vintage camera specifically for me to use after joking I’d break his expensive one
- He’s shown me his work/annual review just so I could make fun of it
- He’s said I’m the only person he doesn’t feel like he has to “filter himself” around
- He’s also shown up on his day off just to see me at the usual time we meet
But at the same time, he’s 34, and I’m 23, and he sometimes makes comments that remind me of that gap (like encouraging me to go to University and focus on my future). He also mentioned he wouldn’t date my friends because they’re “too young,” which made me wonder how he sees me in general. (This was a joke btw like he's not actually into my friends lol)
I don’t think anything explicitly romantic has been said or defined, but I can’t tell if there’s something there or if I’m reading too much into it because I’ve never really had romantic attention before.
I guess I just don’t know how to interpret this level of closeness + consistency + small gestures, especially with the age difference. I like him a lot and I don’t want to lose what we have, but I also don’t know how he actually feels about me. i feel so silly over it but its on my mind