I understand that this is going to make me seem insecure and that I may get some hate for this - but it's been on my mind a lot lately and I need people to tell me to chill out..
I'm (30M) dating a guy (26M) and it's been about 3-4 months now. He's really good for me, sex is great, we're very compatible, etc. He could totally be the one, and I hope that he is. I was in 2 monogamous relationships over the last 8 years and thus this boyfriend is only the third guy I've had sex with. I would only have sex with someone I saw potential with, I guess that's just how I've always operated.
On our second date I asked him his body count (I know... it shouldn't matter) and he said 50 and that he has a list of guys in his notes app that he's had sex with. He even showed me it a few dates later (not that I asked). I wasn't expecting this high of a number, but it wasn't a deal breaker. Turns out that he had an STI when we started talking (he got tested right after he met me; we hadn't had sex yet). He was honest about it and told me as soon as he found out. This made me question whether I should continue the relationship or not, but I did because I really like him... we just held off while his antibiotics kicked in. No big deal.
Since we've been dating, he's talked about several sexual experiences or hookups, etc. and I (being my nosy self) asked if these people were on his list... to which he said probably not. So it's higher than 50.
When we first started talking (took 2 months for us to start dating) he had a good handful of guys on Snapchat reaching out asking "wyd" and just hitting him up I assume either for nudes or to meet up, etc. guys he's either just talked to or whatever, I don't know. Even when we started dating, he still had guys sending nudes or shirtless pics, and he'll tell me about them and then remove the guys from Snapchat, which I appreciate. He also had ~5 guys on Instagram reach out once we started dating and try and slide in, guys he seems to had talked to or met up with before.
He's very honest and open about all this stuff, and I've seen him respond to people and say "I have a boyfriend".
I trust him not to cheat or anything, but why am I so in my head about his body count and how promiscuous he was before me? I think I personally value quality over quantity, and am not much of a hookup guy myself, so I'm comparing and I know it's not fair of me.
I'm not insecure about the sex or that he's comparing me to others. We have plenty of it, it's really good, and he has stated that I'm the biggest he's been with and I believe him on that (not that it would matter to me).
Him and I had talked about it before and I brought it up lightly... because I'm not trying to slut shame. I keep thinking... could this number be even higher but he was just telling me what I wanted to hear? Why do I care so much?
I know the gay community is more sex-positive than others, and that makes sense to me. Men are horny! Can someone tell me to chill tf out? This man is sooooo good for me. Plus if I keep looking, what are the odds I find someone like myself? Unlikely