I’ve (28F) been dating to a guy (35M) for 4 months. He spent a long time pursuing me on social media before we finally met (1.5years). Recently, things seemed to accelerate: he was driving two hours to see me, introducing me to family, and asking deep questions, our dates were long (roadtrips etc.) The effort was 10/10—he planned everything and was a total gentleman. We kissed a few times. He never tried anything sexual yet.
Two weeks ago, he suggested a lake trip for this past weekend. He wasn’t sure about the dates due to work, so I told him, 'Let me know when you figure it out and I’ll see what works.' Then... nothing. No follow-up, no cancellation, just total silence on the plan. Meanwhile, he’s still active on Instagram, replying to my stories to start conversations, only to leave me on 'delivered' for two days once I respond.
Was I 'too chill,' giving him the impression he can just float in and out? Or was the high-effort persona just a performance for the chase? Idek what to think anymore lol. Should I ask him or just wait to see what happens? Why do men do this?