Depressed husband (42) pushing big life changes & using sex for emotional regulation - how do I support him?
My husband (42) is struggling badly and I (36F) feel helpless. His depression comes from the situation in his birth country, things he thought would get better but now seem unfixable. I’ve asked what he needs, but he doesn’t know.
He’s suddenly pushing to move to my home country (we’re in the US, his isn’t an option right now) and have a second child right away. I’m open to both eventually, but it feels like he’s grasping for control through sudden change.
He’s also been using sex more to regulate his emotions, and I’m starting to feel like “a fix,” even though I’m still attracted to him.
Men who’ve been through depression: What did your partner do that actually helped? What felt supportive vs. pressuring to talk, etc?
What other coping strategies worked for you? If you craved big life resets or leaned heavily on sex while depressed, did it help long-term?
Practical advice appreciated.
TL;DR: Depressed husband wants to move abroad + baby now and uses sex to cope. How do I support him without becoming “the fix”?