Is it jealousy or dishonesty
First time poster sorry if its all over the place.So im new to poly (37 f) with my partner (41 m). He made it clear when we met the lifestyle he was seeking that he wanted to be able to date multiple women and as a bisexual woman I was allowed to date women no men. An ideal situation would be us having a mutual partner but thats never happened and we had a heard time when meeting women they only wanted one or the other.
So for the past few months I became suspicious that he has been doing thing without being open and honest about it and that was my main ask in the relationship. His routine changed and he had been acting different. I asked him about it he denied it was another woman and just tired and dealing with work stuff. The other night we talk about it again and I ask to look through his phone if there wasnt nothing too hide. He give me the code I skim through but he is talking to me the entire time distracting me from going through it.
The next night while he was asleep I really went through the phone and found out he had a girl who he had been seeing for sex and had multiple others he had been trying to make plans with to have sex. He never told me any of this. Now he says he did it because he didnt think I could handle the truth and that I would get too emotional about it. Now he is making it out to be a jealous thing when to me he just broke our trust.