u/LGTBreadRabbah

I've had depression for a long time, resulting in some pretty gnarly brain fog. My brain literally feels like mush. I'll pick up a book and can't get past 4 pages because it feels like a mental workout. These are books I know I would have loved before the depression. I want something to pull me out of the mush. I don't do well with audiobooks because I find them too easy to fade into background noise.

I want something not too hard (for example: I tried to start The Once and Future King a few weeks ago, it is too hard for me right now, I think a step below that might be good).

I like:

1. Satire: Thursday Next, Discworld, The Mathematician's Shiva

2. Scientific non-fiction: Sy Montgomery's works, The Hot Zone, Survival of the Sickest

3. History: The Media Relations Department of Hizbollah Wishes You a Happy Birthday, A Labyrinth of Kingdoms

4. Biographies/memoirs: Born a Crime, Educated, Unorthodox, Priestdaddy, I'm Glad My Mom Died, Persepolis, The Possessed

5. Settings that are either fictional, or very different from anywhere I've lived (US and Belgium late 20th and 21st century): Lord of the Rings, Crime and Punishment, All the Light We Cannot See, Welcome to Paradise, Ragtime, Library of the Unwritten

Thank you in advance.

I want to preface with sorry if this is the wrong sub. I'm not sure if there's a better place to put this.

I miscarried in August 2022. I still do not feel fully healed from this still, and I still cry about it at least once a month, sometimes more. I've gone to therapy and I've decided that I need to do something to commemorate my baby for closure. If I could do it over, I would have done a small private funeral at the time, but the remains are not in my possession. They never will be, because I don't live on the same continent anymore, and because the remains were sent to a pathology lab in the hospital. I don't think it's likely I can get back 3.5 year old fetal remains.

I've felt drawn to getting a tattoo for a few months now. I am so grateful to have a 2.5 year old living son who's is thriving, but I'm worried about it feeling like favoritism if I get a tattoo only for my first baby. Should I get just the one, or maybe one for both of them instead? Should I just not get one at all? I've never had a tattoo, so this would be a first for me.

I don't know if this matters, but the tattoo I want is of a flower native to where I miscarried, and stones to symbolize remembrance, because it's is a Jewish practice to put stones on graves, and I am Jewish (but not super observant, as you can see from the tattoo part). There would be no words, names, or dates as a part of the tattoo.

TL;DR I want to get a tattoo to commemorate my miscarried baby, but I'm worried that this would be an act of favoritism for the baby I miscarried over my living child who was born after the miscarriage. Should I get the tattoo?