Am I shaping my kids with my misery?
Having the third child broke me in a different way. Hardest pregnancy, hardest recovery (first CS) and my husband works his butt off to care for us financially, so I am solo a lot of the time. He has been away for a month for work right now (this is not the norm, but late nights can be). I have a 4,3 and a 8 month old.
None of them sleep through the night. Someone is always scared and in our bed, baby Cosleeps because I can’t get her to stay in his crib next to my bed. I am literally fighting for my life everyday from exhaustion.
My question is, will they be the beautiful personalities they are supposed to be or is my misery shaping them? I have ZERO sense of humor right now and I’m just not fun. I am keeping them fed, clean, dressed, and learning a few things here and there, but I feel like such a bore because I can barely process minute to minute. All I do is boss them around and get overstimulated and then I don’t want to be touched, climbed on, played with.
My husband comes home next week finally. But I’m kind of like this even when he is here. I feel like the worst mom right now looking back at our days. I’m snappy but apologize, I’m moody and disengaged. I can’t pretend play if my life depended on it. I’m just managing the basics. I’m just tired. Are they going to be ok? Happy? Well adjusted kids or have I ruined them 😢I