AITAH for not caring if my mom is hungry.
AITA for cutting my mom off financially after she accused me of lying?
I’m a 42-year-old man married to my husband (40M). We’re both successful and together make a little over $1 million a year. My mom has struggled with crack addiction for most of my life. Despite that, we still had a fairly close relationship and talked almost every day.
For years I financially supported her. I paid the rent and security deposit for her apartment, paid her phone bill, and even added her as an authorized user on our Amex with a spending limit.
A few months ago she randomly texted me saying I was “dirtying her name” and that I deeply hurt her. I had no clue what she was talking about, so I tried calling her several times and she sent me straight to voicemail.
In one of her voicemails she mentioned that this was supposedly why my sister was acting weird at my wedding. So I reached out to my siblings in a group chat asking what exactly I was accused of lying about.
Apparently my mom was telling everyone that I lied when I said she told one of my sisters “fuck her and fuck your wedding, I’m not coming.” My mom and that sister haven’t spoken in about two years.
The problem is… I had screenshots of her literally saying exactly that. I sent the screenshots to the group chat, and my mom responded with, “Oh, I don’t remember saying that.”
At that point I snapped and told her that until I got an apology, “the bank is closed.”
Later that night she called me sounding either drunk or high and asked me to DoorDash her food because she was hungry. I told her I was at work and I’d see what I could do, but I never sent the food and honestly I never contacted her again after that because she still never apologized.
Something important for context: when I was 16, my mother legally “divorced” me as her child. So there’s a lot of history there.
I constantly think about that phone call asking for food and feel guilty about it. Part of me feels justified for finally setting boundaries after years of emotional and financial exhaustion, but another part of me feels horrible because she was asking for something basic like food.