I'm 24, I've been living on my own for about a year and a half. My mom and I have an okay relationship overall, she can be a lot sometimes but nothing extrem e, just the usual guilt trips and comments about my life choices. Last saturday I was out with friends, had been gone since about noon. Around 4pm I get a call from her. I don't pick up because we're at a loud place and I figure I'll call back later. Then a text: "I'm outside your building."
I had no idea she was coming. She lives about an hour away. No heads up, no "hey are you home this weekend", nothing. She just drove over.
I texted back that I was out with friends and wouldn't be home until evening. Her response: "I drove all the way here." As if that's my fault somehow. I got home around 7, called her, and instead of just being like "oh well, I should have called ahead" she spent most of the conversation telling me I should always be reachable and that a good daughter would have come home. I asked her when she told me she was coming and she said she "shouldn't have to" announce herself, that I'm her daughter and she should be able to visit whenever she wants.
I tried to explain that I'm an adult with my own place and that I need at least some notice before anyone comes over, including her. She said I was being cold and that I've "changed since moving out." Yeah. I have. I have a front door now and I'd like to know when someone is planning to walk up to it.
We kind of left it unresolved which is how most of our disagrements go. I just genuinely don't understand what she expected me to do, teleport home?