one of the side stories — Reflection, I think, Monika mentioned about reading romance novels/books and how it's her 'guilty pleasure' when talking to Yuri. Considering she was a bit secretive about it as well as her choice of wording and her expression during it. I haven't really seen anyone talking about this, or maybe everyone already knows and I'm just the only one? I think it's a pretty neat lol.
my second post, ig. I wasn't really clear about my first one and it was just a mess. Honestly feeling suicidal lately, idk. it feels like an on-going cycle, I joke about kms, yelling happens then I really wanna kms. It's something I guess I do to cope with myself. It started when school ended, I mean sometimes I did have thoughts during school days but this is different, it's every single day. I feel suicidal every fucking day and I don't know, I want to cut myself, stab myself, jump off a bridge after my violin class ends, hang myself and everything. But at the same time, I don't want to. I do wanna live, experience love, be an astrophysician or an astronomer then grow old with the one I love it's just difficult. I haven't really tried killing myself yet since I'm afraid? some part of me in there is resistant and I hate it. My parents — my father specifically has massive anger issues and extremely impatient so there's that. I like to avoid them, I really do. I really like school, not because I learn stuff but because I get the chance to avoid them. I don't know how to word this correctly and it's so strange because so many people do this, I wanna go out lol. I'm an introverted person so.. I usually prefer being inside alone but I guess being out for an hour or two won't hurt my social battery that much.
But I lowkey don't know what to do and where to go, going to restaurant is out of the question since I'm poor asf. haha, I guess I could study? or nothing? I just want something to distract me from home.