To give context ~ My father was diagnosed with organ failure a few years ago. Since then my life has been in a kind of turmoil. We lost him and because of situations i had to get married ( don't want to get into details as it will be too long)
My marriage was a typical arranged marriage. I don't have any allegations against my wife or her family. But they hid lot of things which kind of felt like a betrayal to me
I began to realise this as the marriage moved closer. I wanted to back out but since the marriage process ( hall, date bookings advance paid) had already moved forward. I did not have any family support or anyone whom I can say, i decided i let's ignore this
But after marriage things have been happening which are making me stressed.
First, My in laws are in some kind of serious conflict with their relative. One time a serious fight broke out during their family function when I had visited them. Police had to be called, fortunately no one was arrested but it was very stressful. It happend in ,2024 even today it makes me stressed
I was told, these fights happen often and police had been called before also
Second, my wife has habit of picking up fights with me often. Intitally it used to happen every month but now it's like once in 2-3 months. And it's not like normal arguments. She starts screaming, hitting, saying things which make me very anxious. At times I will also loose temper but then I will literally ask her to calm down. Still she won't stop
This has been making me stressed and anxious day by day. At times I feel like I will break down and she does not even understand this
I have told her many times. I don't have the habit of this much heated arguments but no use
Last year we were blessed with a baby. I thought okay may be things will be better now. The fights have become less frequent, but still happens and her anger her reaction has not toned down during fights
She even picked up fights dragged her family during her pregnancy, threatening me she is leaving the house. One time i had even literally asked her to go back to her home at least you will have some peace
When she starts fighting, and our baby starts crying, she won't even let me calm the baby. She will hit me, scream, push me and say "Dont touch my baby". After fight she will take my kid and blabber stuff to her, about how she is victim and I am villain. My kid is not old enough to understand now but one what if she too starts hating me
I am at stage where I am seriously think like I may give up. Her behaviour is making my affection reduce towards my kid also. That makes me hate myself
My whole childhood has been rough & toxic. Rough parenting, rough neighbourhood, rough friends. I was never a brilliant kid. But i always loved my parents and never dis respected them
My relationship in college was also very toxic and a messy break up. I always felt may be one day I will get married and have a peaceful family life. But the day my dad died, my life has been at downhill speed. And i am especially feel like giving up now
Don't know what to do. How to make my wife stop fighting with me