I met a guy in March who was visiting London and stayed the night with me. We had an amazing connection and incredible sex, unlike anything I’d ever had before. I likened it to the sex I had with my ex boyfriend who I’d been with for three years - but I had only just met this guy, we had incredibly palpable chemistry. We had a few more dates which were lovely and then he flew home, but before doing so he told me to visit him in his city (2+ hour flight in a completely different country). I said I’ll think about it and thought it was unlikely that I would because I was happy it being a short fling. But we keep texting when he goes home and he brings it up again so I think maybe I’ll just go for it and see how it is. I wasn’t expecting anything serious because of the distance, just thought I should let myself experience some fun seeing as I’ve struggled to meet anyone since the end of my last relationship, despite having lots of casual sex. A few weeks later I ring him and book flights, making it very clear that I only want to come if he’s still 100% down and it won’t be awkward if he doesn’t want me to anymore. He said he still wanted to see me, this was probably early April. We keep talking but the time between convos slows down. Then life gets in the way but I have booked a Friday off work and spent £89 on a flight, having confirmed it was okay to sleep over with him. Then two weeks ago I message and get no response but don’t think too much about it. I message again on Instagram instead of Whatsapp on Tuesday asking how he is. Don’t get a reply until yesterday saying he’s fine and sorry for not replying he’s been travelling. I said as long as you’re in (city) while I’m there I don’t mind. He takes 36 hours to reply to that, but posts on his story etc. Then tonight he replies saying “yeah about that I’m really sorry but I’ve got into a relationship as of this weekend and I’m really happy but I think we should cancel the trip.”
Obviously it’s upsetting to not be chosen but I don’t have many feelings about him as a person; he kind of icked me out and I knew it was just a sexual chemistry that bound us. It was just the complete lack of respect for my feelings, my money, and my time. To tell me only a week before I fly out, to have been in this relationship for 5/6 days before telling me, to have probably been getting to know them since before/shortly after the time me and him met?! I just feel like I was placed on the back burner as this potential exciting fling to have in case the guy he was dating more seriously at home didn’t work out. Which would be fine, whatever, if I wasn’t spending money to come and see him. I feel so foolish for putting my heart on the line and putting so much blind trust in practically a complete stranger. I’ve send a calm, respectful message explaining my annoyance and asking for him to reimburse my flight but I doubt he will reply. Now I’ve gotta tell my colleagues I’m not going to Milan. Or should I just go, get a cheap hostel, and try and enjoy it regardless??