Scared of arrange marriage girls my family is looking
I am scared of arrange marriage possibilities my family is looking for me
I, M27, recent Central government job. Average looking. No great body. Skinny. No great assets.
Recently after stabilizing in this job, my family is looking for a bride for me. But , as they are somewhat modern type; They want a working woman as my wife. Also, she should be of government employee too.:-state gov, central gov, or bank,even police.
Now coming to the point, I am also about women working in all spaces. I am all about feminism and freedom too. In the starting of the lookout process, even I was looking for a working woman. Because they bring a sense of responsibility and they have open minds about a lot of things. Also, I have a feeling that my income may not be enough for future.
Even before the starting of the process I had preferences in my mind about my life partner, about here attractive standards, education , career , nature. But one non-negotiable I have about wife is that I and her has to co-habit throughout the life.
I know government employees transfer and problems. I know how hard it would be for me to come back even to my home state, let alone home city. But that is not even the starting point. Now my family wants me to marry someone with same destiny who can transfer to any place. NO. I hate this idea. I wanna make a grihastha. I wanna cuddle with my wife daily
I am not a great man. I am not a saint. I know this preference comes from the fact that I have been single my whole life, and I see so many couples on a daily basis, I just hate myself that I just couldn’t have a girlfriend in my adult life. And I know after marriage it is about intercourse what is driving me to marry. I believe in consent. But not long-distance, hello!. I just cant live like a randwa even after marrying. But my family is not understanding. They are showing me rishtas of girls who are in government services.
They think that women sitting at home karengi kya. I agree. I have seen my mother and her intellect due to sheltered life and no good exposure to outside. But I am not ready to married to a person who has possibility of living away from me just because her job demands it. I am okay if they do any home made business or work from home job, and I am all about helping in houe chores, even if I marry someone non-working. But mai taiyarr nahi hu eik aisi life jeene k lie jismein meri patni alag rahe. Isse accha to kunwara and frustrated rehna.
I am confused whether I even want a working wife or not. Kyunki mere colleagues jinki non-working wife hain, wo sab khush to hain hi. Ab kya hi bura hai unka.
I am confused, angry and unable to judge the situation. Please guide me, if possible tell your marriage stories when two government employees are married. I think transfer policies are getting sh*tter day by day in this country; and I have a feeling that spouse based transfer is getting declined day by day.