u/KlutzyMutt

That "almost seizure" happened again, but what it is is a sudden rush of the feelings I'd have going into a TC...without going into that TC...it seems to have a post-ictal stage...This is soooooo scarey. 3 facts about me.

-My TCs are the Scariest most painful things your mind can come up with. Like, worst than full body burns...and you feel your bones brake. You pass out a few seconds to feel like a small child with amnesia in the scariest nightmare ever....

no wonder I get suicidal after them ....buuuut I haven't had a TC since 1999...But, I've have "close calls"

• I'm perimenopausal...Lamotrigine HATES hormone changes.

I'm sooooo afraid...my epileptologist is full, my new neuro in AZ is June 11th.

Do any of you have focals like this? Where it hits you like a wave and feels like a on coming TC, but it's not... OR do you think it's a warning of the things to come?

That "almost seizure" happened again, but what it is is a sudden rush of the feelings I'd have going into a TC...without going into that TC...it seems to have a post-ictal stage...This is soooooo scarey. 3 facts about me.

-My TCs are the Scariest most painful things your mind can come up with. Like, worst than full body burns...and you feel your bones brake. You pass out a few seconds to feel like a small child with amnesia in the scariest nightmare ever....

no wonder I get suicidal after them ....buuuut I haven't had a TC since 1999...But, I've have "close calls"

- I'm perimenopausal...Lamotrigine HATES hormone changes.

I'm sooooo afraid...my epileptologist is full, my new neuro in AZ is June 11th.

Do any of you have focals like this? Where it hits you like a wave and feels like a on coming TC, but it's not... OR do you think it's a warning of the things to come?

Do you think I should go to an er to get started on keppra? or...just general cause it's new and terrifying (they may just label it a panic attack, though...oh well...a panicky epileptic drug seeking keppra....

I'm saying this, because there is a FAS I have that hits me up-side the head, I feel like all silent migraine symptoms happen at once, then....I'm completely calm and happy the rest of the seizure...and post-ictal is still...woah....unless you tell me to do something, just don't.

I find some of my more intense FAS that started after a very stressful time in my life...my post ictal is...silly but my head feels hollow.

Every other seizure (I only have FAS) just suck.

Oooooooooooooo eeeeeeeee does it for me... I'd say 90% of the TCs I used to have them (1997-1999) or "close calls" are on cloudy (especially rainy) days, which suck because I'd love them. Also when the barometric pressure drops...My anxiety and panicky symptoms on the rise!

I don't have to look outside to know it's cloudy...

Only times these fly out the windo is snow days/nights...I think because my dopamine and happiness overrides everything....

THEN ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SPECTRUM! HEAT! You wanna pretty much guarantee a motor focal, put me in a stuffy room above 80°F.... It seems not so bad when there is air... BUT, I'M MOVING TO THE AZ DESERT...IN SUMMER!

I hate being weather sensative...it makes my life hell.

My TOLERANCE OF CLONAZAPAM HAS LOWERED FROM 2.5 MG TO .5MG!!!

I'M SOOOOOO HAPPY! I am incredibly proud of myself, despite the daily focal clusters until a few months after my daughter got fired and was able to stay home (I'm EXTREMELY MONOPHOBIC)!where my worse focal clusters faded to just once in a while.

It was a lot of pain, fear, frustration and misery, but, with the help of GOD and coping skills, I got through. October through Dec was AMAZING!

After my close call on Thursday, my doc prescribed me 15 1mg pills, took one and I think it was a bit much! YAAAAAAAY,

No anxiety, just seizure prevention only!

BIIIIG WARNING! BENZOS CAN BE LIFE DESTROYING IF MANAGED POORLY. JULY IS EVEN BENZO AWARENESS MONTH. I SHARED MY STORY BECAUSE I WANT TO GIVE HOPE TO PEOPLE ON BENZO BREAKS FROM THEIR RESCUES!!!

I feel extremely blessed that I was able to quit cold-turkey. God bless those of you where it is a war to get off of them, as slow as tapered they can be. You are in my prayers!

mind you, I've not had a TC in almost 27 years.....I was at the pcp office checking in and that's when the feeling hit. I sat down and grabbed on to everything I could and started to pray HARD to God while taking deep belly breaths...which made me calm down a bit. Then right when the MA called me, I told her I needed a klonopin, stat. She said ' We'll talk to him about that" and I sat down and told her what was going on. She typed the down and just started the pre check-up stuff.

I just told her I was feeling seizurey and she completely ignored me! No, I think it's because I asked for a benzo....but, shouldn't have she cared A LITTLE BIT?!

THEN I felt it, I literally FELT my Lamotrigine flood my brain to stop it.

After i came home, I read that that was common for Lamotrigine, is to feel it work...

Then I texted my hubby to get inside, that I needed him. He came in, finally my pcp came in and I told him everything, especially how I hadn't been that scared in 20 years and I didn't know what to do and I started crying. He rxed me 15 klonioin...bless him!

Been 8 months since my last benzo. When I got home and took it, I dunno if I was to shaken or blah...but, when I took it(1mg)....I felt nothing.

My sister, a nurse, said you don’t have to feel it for it to work....it did konk me out.

My hubby did reveal I did come off as a drug seeker (though I only asked 2x and didn't push). I was there get to get my cat to be a ESA!

First...I feel so blessed I have somewhere I can go to talk about this, cause I'm sure my family is on the edge of being sick/ feeling helpless when I tell them....

Anyway....I'm moving back to AZ in a month, but, unless I'm moving in with my sister or kids, or an area I know... my health BOMBS when I move.... like, I get focal clusters that I haven't had in a year or new types of focal clusters... makes it worse that I'm now on perimenopause...and I may not have any rescue benzos (first move without benzos since 2004) so, I'll have to just deal on my own. I'm trying to stay calm and just surf it so I don’t stress myself out so much that my focal epilepsy wants to come out and play.

I have an idea for the first few night to stay at somwhere I lived at for 4 years, THEN go to my house, since it's about 15 minutes away, but, it's in an area I don’t really know...

I just thought I'd get my thoughts out here. Any advise or wisdom is welcome.

I'm going to give it to God and hope my brain plays nice. Not like it's

My SSRI has decided to stop working, so my voice that loves to make me panic is louder than my sound voice... for 5 hours I've been fighting panic attacks because it decided to say

" you are alone and you could have a full seizure any second"...

Jerk, i've been TC free for almost 27 years with a few very close calls!

"But you are under tons of stress and something can happen. You haven't been under this amount of stress without benzos in years...no benzo to save you"

WHY DO BRAINS DO THIS!? YOU'D THINK THEY'D DO ANYTHING TO NOT THINK IT!

I'm also on 800mg of Lamotrigine and 375mg of pregabalin... I was on 600mg of Lamotrigine for 20 years...only upped it to see if it's stop some focal seizures...

What helps you when your brain gets too loud?

You are on medication that works 100% for one of your types of seizures....but, in circumstances that would trigger that seizure, you just "know" that if you weren't on your meds that you would of had one?.....then you get major anxiety, still?

You are on medication that works 100% for one of your types of seizures....but, in circumstances that would trigger that seizure, you just "know" that if you weren't on your meds that you would of had one?.....then you get major anxiety, still?

Having focal aware seizures again makes my artist brain wanna do FAS awareness art, again! I'm up for inspo! PURPLE AND SILVER !

My last post told you why my FAS have started again... but, I'm scared my hubby will say I talked myself into this, or my daughter feeling guilty/annoyed... it's been 6 months after since I've had a FAS cluster after all...

I know I'll eventually will have to tell him if they don’t stop by the time he recovers from my daughter moving...

Ok, now I know eeeeeeextreme stress cause FAS. To be honest, Until yesterday, I haven't had a focal in months....do you know why? I'm monophobic and my daily clusters happened when my kid and hubby were working. After my daughter got fired, she then stayed at home. Within a month...the clusters were gone and I had 1-2 focals a week...then December came And I was pretty much FAS free!

................fast forward to yesterday. After finding out we were moving to AZ, my daughter made prompt plans to move in with her dad in Missouri. I was set to move to AZ before she moved and everything was great....until her dad decided to push it to soon so she could goto AZ for a funeral then move in....that move date is tomorrow and I don't move in with my mom until first week of June...plus I have free healthcare in AZ. Hubby is staying until this lease runs out.

So, yesterday, I had 3 FASs...first in months! And I've had a few today already!!!

Can it be pure stress or does this sound like PNES. I know EXTREME stress can cause FASs