u/KittyPuperMamaPerson
Need ideas, please help me
My dad is turning the big 80, my uncle (mom’s brother) is turning 77 or 78 the same day. Mom wants to throw a party for them +30 people, in true mom fashion she tasks it to me. So now I’m responsible for finding a place for this party with the following criteria.
1- Child friendly. Stuff for the kids to do where they aren’t terrorizing anyone else trying to enjoy their day. I don’t have kids so I have no clue. IDK if all kids are supposed to be this loud, but damn. (I swear I actually love these kids)
2- Senior citizen friendly, obviously. Old, slow, cannot walk long distances, must be early mid afternoon because old.
3- Pops is white and old, his family flying in has a BLAND palate, mom and her family are Chinese. Mom is so Chinese she has racist tastebuds, this is only mom and it’s only her tastebuds i promise. Add in the 5-6 kids that range from 12-2, 3 of these kids think cheese is a vegetable. (Again I love these kids so my bitching is all in fun…mostly)
4- 2 Cousins and maybe one of their spouses coming in from out of town, they have been here the past 2 years for holidays and mom is paranoid about them thinking that when we all get together we only order in or go to casinos…which is what happens. So I’m shit out of luck thinking of anything on that front, but the cousins are women in their 30’s who are intentionally childfree and cool as fuck so she wants to do something fun, exciting and memorable, but child and senior citizen friendly. I am not fun, exciting or memorable so kinda fucked.
5- I need to be able to drink. That is 100% nonnegotiable. Bonus points if I can sneak in a cigarette indoors and not have it be illegal as this will be late June. Seriously, sobriety is not an option.
6- Dad will need to be able to watch the Yankees if there’s a game that day. It’s his birthday he should at least get one thing.
7- The price range is unreasonable because my mom has no idea how much things cost. She wants $50 a head, yeah…she said that and involuntary confused puppy full head tilt. Realistically $100 a head.
She has considered the F1 experience, kids, fun, excitement. 2 of the 5-6 kids are very girly girls, the possible child who would be 2 is a toddler, so like??? I don’t know.
Top golf, dad has never in his life touched a golf club.
Play, somehow someway if this were where mom decided to do this, my late uncles wife (dad’s brothers widow) would somehow break her hip in the bounce house.
Meow Wolf, would honestly be hilarious but I love my dad.
Restaurant, these kids are loud AF. Not the 12yr old, he’s chill but the ones who aren’t on the cusp of puberty have no chill.
I legit wish there were a senior citizen Chucky Cheese.
Having it at home is not an option. Love my family, but its too much goddamn work to get the house ready for guests who will be staying here let alone a goddamn party. I’m not cleaning their house twice.
Please help me find a place that wont make everyone miserable.