u/Kitchen_Canary_6387

Two months ago, I embarked on a quest I had no idea would take me into a land where “good enough” is a constantly moving target with no end in sight.

I decided to build a PC.

Not only that, but I decided to build a PC at a time when core parts are ridiculously expensive.

I am 45 years old and I have AuDHD, which just means the hyper fixation is strong with this one. I’ve seen hobbies come and go, but this is the first time I’ve had a hobby that drains your wallet in the blink of an eye. Not only that, but newer, better building blocks are being released all the time.

I realize I’m preaching to the choir here. TBH this is all tongue in cheek and I’m not actually traumatized. It’s actually been really fun to dive into this world. I’m just realizing that I’m a bit obsessed at the moment, and even though I have all of the parts I need, I still feel like I need more.

Kinda wish I could have taken up basket weaving.

For some reason, I have decided to go on another mission. I feel like a complete imposter because I don’t believe. But I feel like I HAVE to go. And I can’t tell anyone that I don’t believe. My family doesn’t even know. It’s just a giant lie.

A variation of the dream is that I’m forced to go and I don’t have a choice in the matter. I can’t recall whether or not I am honest in that variation. But I am miserable.

Anybody else have this dream?

Edit: wanted to add that I was a sister missionary, so going was almost entirely my choice and I didn’t have the same guilt or pressure that boys in the church would face. This was 25 years ago, so the mission was very much optional for girls.