AITA- Housemate invited a stranger over who stole my car. Am I unreasonable for asking him to pay part of the loss?
So this whole situation started when I couldn’t find my car keys one morning. I was sure I had hung them up next to my jacket the night before, but they were gone. I asked my housemate if he’d seen them - he said no. I figured I must’ve misplaced them bringing in groceries, grabbed my spare, and went to work.
When I got home, I tore the entire apartment apart. Checked everywhere, even outside and in the dumpster. Nothing.
At that point, I started worrying someone had somehow gotten into the house and taken them. But I’m honestly pretty OCD about locking doors and windows, so it didn’t make sense. I asked my housemate again if he’d had any visitors, he said no.
That night I debated getting a steering wheel lock or parking somewhere else, but I convinced myself I was just being paranoid.
Next morning… my car is gone.
So yes, someone did have my keys. (And a scary thought is that if I had I fact moved the car, they probably would have gone inside the house since they had keys).
I took the day off, filed a police report, contacted a locksmith, and started an insurance claim. I asked my housemate again about visitors, and this time he says:
“Yeah, but ”Nate”(using different name) wouldn’t steal a car, I’ve met him a bunch of times.”
I was immediately upset. Why didn’t he tell me that before? I asked him to contact Nate ASAP.
I spent the day asking neighbors for camera footage. One neighbor had video of my car being driven away around 5am.
My housemate couldn’t reach Nate, so we agreed if he didn’t respond by the next day, we’d report him.
The next day, my housemate tells me he did reach Nate, and Nate didn’t do it. But he figured out who did.
TURNS OUT, after going through his messages on Sniffies (a hookup app), he realized he had invited a completely unknown guy over after Nate left. He has no name or number for this person, just a selfie.
He claims he barely remembers this and thinks he might’ve been drugged. (Important context: he has a bit of a drinking problem and is no stranger to recreational drugs.)
I had no idea he was regularly inviting strangers into our shared home. If I had known, I would have shut that down immediately. I’m not comfortable with that at all.
I gave all this info to the police… and nothing came of it.
Insurance eventually declared the car a total loss. Between depreciation, my $2K deductible, and the extra money I had already put into the car (I’d only had it 4 months but had paid an extra ~$5K toward it), car rental and a few items that were in the car that I had to replace - I ended up taking about a $9K financial hit.
My housemate initially offered to cover half and pay me $200–300/month, starting with $400 cash. After we talked it through, I said I’d be grateful if he covered $4K. He pushed back, and we settled on $3,500.
So now I’m wondering…
Am I being unreasonable for expecting him to pay part of this? And does $3,500 seem fair given the situation? I feel like I was very nice about this.