u/Kianawilldo

Throughout my entire life, no matter how stressed or overwhelmed, or tired I was. I always locked in under pressure. But lately, I’d have very important deadlines around the corner and my brain and body will do… nothing.
The deadline for a very important assignment, kind of a pass or fail situation just passed and I have no urgency to do anything about it. There’s this frightening absence in me that just doesn’t care.

I wanted to ask if anyone can relate to this or has any insight/ advice if possible… thanks for stopping by.

I no longer care to go to church, and I feel numb all the time. Prayers feel empty and I feel like my desire to keep going is gone. I feel spiritually dead.

So I wonder if my probation has closed, or has my heart hardened beyond repair.

I had a dream/vision a year ago, that I was going to die on the 1st of May, 2026 at 13:15pm. Well of course that day passed and I sat anxiously as the clock ticked from 13:14 to 13:15. But I did not die… not in the traditional sense.

The weeks leading up to that day I was praying, meditating and trying to connect with a creature that kept appearing to me in my mind and through symbols and objects in the environments I was in. An owl, a purple owl. It kept popping up everywhere the closer I got to this date and I always thought it was going to lead me to my death when the time came.

But now that day has passed, I feel empty and hollow, like there is no momentum. I can’t pray or meditate, I don’t feel connected to God or the universe or anything anymore. I feel like I died spiritually, as I care less and less each day that passes.

I feel burnt out with no energy and there’s a feeling of overwhelming apathy and numbness. I don’t know what to do.