difficult inlaw dynamic
I have been with my partner for about 4 years now. He is divorced has 3 kids who he gets week on week off, I myself have 2 kids and have mine full time. I still live in my house and he lives on his acreage. He is a full time farmer on the family farm where both his mom/dad, brother/sister in law live on. The first year of being together was rocky (kids adjusting, jealousy, different parenting skills/beliefs) after that things with the kids did start to get better. HOWEVER, his parents are not very welcoming/approachable. His family is very close (do almost every meal together, spend every day together (they all work on the farm) and spend all their time at the cabin, boating TOGETHER), I am all for family time however, i feel this is an overwhelming amount of time and it gets the best of me. During family events or seeding, harvest, calving i do try to help. Offering to cook meals, operate machinery, or with the kids. However i get shut down every time i offer help making me look useless and incompetent and then it falls back on my partner that i dont do anything, i dont help, etc, etc. They make minimal to no conversations with me. His mother also updates pictures around the house rather frequently making sure to always leave me and my kids out of it. I do try to make a good attempt to be involved i still dont feel welcomed and my partner is very soft and non confrontational person and if he does speak up nothing changes and things remain the same. Overall im just looking for help on how to guide through this as i want to set myself a fine line and dont know how to continue