Hi there, today my mom let me (26f who still lives with parents ((both 50))) know that she wants to move out. She feels she needs to be alone right now and figure out what she wants. My dad isn't talking, he just seems angry all the time this past few weeks. Neither one are happy anymore and it's all happened within the span of six months. I feel slapped by the universe.
My parents have been together for a little over 30 years, we even used to call what they had the "red string" theory since they met one time as kids, and in some weird camp event they saw one another again and got married soon after. Some of the most romantic stuff has come out of both their mouths like how the other is their best friend. That they could never laugh as loud as they do without the other at least being in the room to share in it. That when it comes down to it, they'd never choose a life without the other in it. Family friends, family members, and even just random acquaintances have all remarked to me just how perfect my parents are for one another, and how much they can see that they adore each other. I'm not naive enough to think that their hard work and communication wasn't a major part in that, of course they had to work at their bubble of "perfect" for a long time, but even during the toughest fights my mom or dad would say the same kind of thing about not wanting to work at a marriage with anyone but the other. I get that this'll sound naive but I cannot stress this enough, my parents WANTED one another more than anything. A few months ago, both started taking hormones, mom for her menopause and my dad for his weight. It was like they suddenly just changed into new humans.
I feel like I'm living with two people I don't even know. My dads suddenly more grumpy yet chill at the same time? Like, I don't feel like I'm talking to my dad but my brother?? And my mom and I have bickered so much that I feel like I'm parenting her sometimes over the fits she throws. It's insane. Most days were fine because they can be such fun people to be around- but when they're in their moods, I don't even come out of my room which just isn't what I'm used to . In my culture, you don't really move out till you're married, and recently I've been applying to any new job because I want to get out so bad. Which I hate feeling because my parents are kind of my best friends as pathetic as that is.
Is it silly to feel like it was all fake? I feel lied to lol Like, all the times I would catch them whispering to each other while giggling, when they'd sit outside on the porch in content silence just holding hands, or when they'd disappear to go on trips and ask me not to call because it was "their time to be alone"- was all just horseshit? I mean, what's the point in hammering it into me for YEARS that a marriage covenant with God is nothing to play with and it's so sacred and special, and here they are at 50 just throwing it away because now they both feel old and are having mid-life crisis's and "don't know who they are anymore" like fuck off. I don't know why this is making me feel such big emotions at 26, I feel like a little kid throwing a stupid tantrum. I just feel so taken aback. I mean they are not perfect people by any means, they're both super hard-headed and hold grudges and have super short tempers, but they also had such intense passion and would just melt into the others arms so easily after everything. Am I crazy or is it normal to feel cheated or like this is wrong? Like have I slipped into an alternate multiverse? I want them to fight for one another but it's like suddenly they just hate being tied down. It's like seeing them regress as adults into immature twenty-year old's who want to go explore.
Is it bad to want to yell at them lol (not gonna do that) I guess I'm just so used to seeing them love one another so intensely and go to the ends of the earth to have a strong bond, that seeing them crumble within less than a year feels like I was sold a lie about what the whole point of love is. Is it bad I want to sit and cry like a kid haha