Home doesn’t feel like home
My brother got married around 10 months ago. The girl was from a family not so wealthy so they married for money and my family thought they will get a nice homely girl. They did not keep me in the loop because they know I would talk some sense into them against both these perspectives. My brother was manipulated by my parents with his age which was only 26 and how girls in the cities are nowadays, and how he shouldn’t cancel another wedding because that would bring shame. They told him love happens after marriage and we did v should happen quickly after meeting so that new issues do not arise and the wedding doesn’t get cancelled. My parents also tried to get him hitched at 21 and then twice again so my brother was just fed up and with his ex cheating he was vulnerable enough to give this idea any heed. The mothers talked to each other on an online matrimonial site, two days later shared the numbers of their kids, one week later they met and five days after meeting they were engaged and less than two months after that they got married. My sister in law has aggression issues, the first came in three months after their wedding which both she and her parents apologised for and after that they have been minor. She treats our helpers at home very poorly asking them to do basic things which she can do herself like asking them to bring her water from two metres away while she is just sitting and they are already cleaning something or busy. She takes jewellery and clothes from my mother to never return. She uses my room when I am away and takes away things without permission. I am five years younger than her. I liked the energy of my home earlier but now everyone is just walking on egg shells. I come home a couple times a year accounting for less than two months in a year but it’s so unsettling that I do not think I am going to come back for a long time. My parents did wrong things but they are good people, they are helpful and they try their best best and now I see them uncomfortable in their own house that is the result of their toil, my brother looks less lively and my sister in law flourishes, she is just so different, we always thought to get the best thing because it’s the best quality but she thinks all expensive things are the best. Her parents came and lived in my parents house for a weekend when my parents were away. It is fine if it’s only her and my brother’s home, I would not have cared about all this but it’s my parents and I thought there are certain expectations that come with an arranged marriage that are definitely not being met. I do not mean that parents should not visit, they definitely should and she should go to her maternal home too whenever she wishes but her parents staying here without my parents being there and using all our resources is not very ideal. My parents pay for everything in the house, they live here for free. Her brother also came and stayed at our place for a month just playing PS 5 and ordering stuff in. She can do a job, she has a PhD but she says she didn’t want to work after wedding as she things she has already worked enough in her life and then she asks my parents for exuberant amounts of pocket money. Her family had one car and now we have three but she doesn’t want to share one with my mother and she thinks taking an Uber is beneath her so she should be gifted her own car. My parents say these things happen and it’s okay, things will get better. All this has just made me feel very unwelcome and uneasy in my own home to the point that I do not want to visit anymore because I do not feel good. I do not think my bhabhi is a bad person but I her habits and way of doing things have no regard for others, she acts very entitled and ungrateful. She literally didn’t know us this time last year and now she is acting like the queen of this house. Since there is so much tension around, I as the youngest be some the butt of every joke because they cannot work things out within themselves. Everyone is older than me but I just feel like why does anyone not have sense. My parents should set strict boundaries about how they want things in their home and if not they are welcome to leave and live on their own and my sister in law should have more regard for my parents and the things they provide while she sits at home and frolics around the house and my brother should have more guts to strike a balance between them by talking clearly and now just ignoring issues on both ends. The communication here is so poor and no one wants to listen to me because what do I know. As soon as some basic argument starts I am told to go to my room but I know everything that is happening. I live on my own in another country, haven’t taken a penny from my parents in months but I am not given credit for anything ever. I come home to chill and spend time with my family but I almost never want to leave my room. It feels like everyone cares for each other and just with the approach being a bit different things could be so much clear and better for everyone and everyone can be happy under the same roof with clear expectations but that just will just not happen. Sorry for the long rant, it’s complicated and I do not know if I used the correct words but just think about my feeling and let me know your ideas. Also forgive me for any grammatical errors, I am not proofreading it at this time. Other than that, have a great day:))