u/KeyWindow9999

The flame of my lighter illuminates my face.

As I take another drag,

I deal with my fate.

Memories of you playback in my mind,

from the first kiss

to when I left you behind.

I've tried everything to make it stop,

your essence, your being,

every last drop.

It envelops me as the smoke does,

it invades my lungs

and drives my lust.

Please don't be the death of me.

My prayers to the universe were once returned,

a love unrequited,

then a flame that burned.

I wished upon all the stars, even the sun,

that one day,

you and I could be one.

Of course I thought you wanted the same,

a wild love like mine

that only you could tame.

You cursed my skin to crave your touch,

oh,

how I wanted it so much.

Please don't be the death of me.

You put your tongue where I could only speak your language,

and in the end,

only in anguish.

I begged you to write secrets on my skin with your fingertips,

and when you did,

the secrets slipped out of my lips.

You breathed yourself into me like you were bringing me back to life,

I exhaled your stress,

I absorbed your strife.

Please don't be the death of me.

We ate what was forbidden, our fruit,

the troubles we birthed

almost becoming moot.

Fools in love have nothing to lose

but daylight and moonlight

while daydreaming of a muse.

The knowledge that you could light me on fire,

I wish so badly

that I had no other desire.

Please don't be the death of me.

I write to move on and release me from this pain,

please don't tell me

that I threw it all down the drain.

The sparks I felt, so lively and new,

are only just a memory,

of what we had to do.

A necessary evil to become who we are today,

a desert between us,

and that's how it will stay.

Its easy to mistake lust for love at such a young age,

my dreams that I had

were really a cage.

And now I smoke my cigarette as I forget about the day,

that drove me to madness

and gave me karmic debt to pay.

Please don't be the death of me.

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u/KeyWindow9999 — 13 days ago

For the ones who have crossed my path, the ones who have been a part of my journey, and the ones whose absence have also affected me,

I am finally ready to release you. I am a proud person but I will put that aside so that I can say that I am grateful for giving me the life lessons I needed to become successful in not only love, but in life. I want to thank you for helping me understand who I am today, for helping me understand how I want to be loved and how I don't. I am eternally grateful for your help in shaping me into who I am today and I will continue to walk my path with you in my heart because no matter what the situation was, you have become part of me. J, thank you for showing me how to be strong- even if it was to stand up to you. I could have never found my voice or boundaries if it wasn't for what we had. M, I appreciate you for showing me my first unrequited love and teaching me to value myself. For years, I let you use me for what you admitted was your ego, naively mistaking it for love. Thank you for showing me what it was like to yearn for something and the power of disappointment when love was reciprocated with lust. Thank you for teaching me how to walk away from those who don't value me as a human being. T, thank you, truly, for showing me what patience is like. Although we were together for 6 years, you showed me honesty and how to be patient. We could never figure why it didn't work, we just got tired of forcing it. You are a light that will continue to show me the way and I hope that your true love finds you soon. A, I haven't seen you in 14 years and all of a sudden you're the IT guy at my work? Thank you for showing me that I do not want to be married to a man who would cheat on his pregnant wife. You made me the other woman without my knowledge and I hope and pray that you are a better man to your wife and your 13 year old son now.

Thank you all for helping me become the woman I am today and you will always have a special place in my life: the past. I choose to let go of anger, bitterness, and regret. Although I have felt that way for many years, I release those feelings in this letter to you because I deserve happiness over self-hatred. I hope that you all do better in life because the world doesn't need any more scumbags. Thank you for living your lives authentically and teaching me the lessons that I need to learn.

Get well soon and goodbye,

Z

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u/KeyWindow9999 — 14 days ago

E,

Thank you for being an experience in my life. Thank you for all the lessons that you've taught me. I can sit here and complain about the pain, the lies, the manipulation. In reality, there is nothing left to say and your actions have just led me to make the right decisions for myself and my own future.

You were right though, I do love myself more. I love myself enough to walk away from someone who doesn't love me more than I love myself. My life was meant to be lived by me, not for the sake of other people.

Yes, reminders of you keep popping up everywhere I look. The universe is trying to trick me into doubting myself... or so I thought. It turns out, the universe just wants me to be strong in my intentions and decisions. The universe wants me to be sure of myself and unwavering.

To tell the truth, my life has been so much better without you. My life has been so much better without trying to please everyone, without wanting attention from everyone, without being inauthentic to myself. I have the courage now to stand up for what I want and look where it has gotten me, absolutely thriving.

I'm writing this so the universe knows that I AM choosing to break my old patterns to make room for something new. Something that you will never be a part of.

I am ready to be who I am without you.

Respectfully,

reddit.com
u/KeyWindow9999 — 14 days ago