u/KeyNo5126

cw smoking and self harm mentioned briefly

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was told they wouldnt do much, just shifting things and wiping down but they moved everything into bags, randomly grouping things and even moved stuff from the mental hospital (that i kept secret so now they probs know im seeking help) and now:

1. idk where anything is and if i want to find it ill have to "undo" everything and 2. its stressing me out bcus idk where anything is and if they found my cigarettes and razors. 3. my mom says my aunt and her helper (the people who did most of the cleaning) are gonna finish it and that i should focus on my exams even tho im like. not functioning now bcus everythings out of place

i know this sounds like nothing but fuck man i told them not to clean anything but theyre convinced that satan/jinn are in my room bcus of my mess and thats why im so "lazy" and tired and mentally ill and that its MY fault bcus i dont throw things away even tho its cus its gotten so bad bcus my mom used to threaten me and force me into cleaning that completely stripped open my privacy. but after that my mom and aunt were sooo smug and proud of themselves and anal about my sister not. bringing my pads into my room? 😭 what??? my room feels so fucking weird now. i feel so sooo exposed and it feels irritating that no matter what i say about not coming in and upending my life and turning it inside out these people (my mom and aunt) wont listen and will just do whatever they deem fit. they asked the helper to help clean and its so embarassing she had to see all that and also i know how tiring it is bcus she takes care of my bedbound dementia(?) grandma and my aunt and mom nitpick her and yell at her a lot and make her work harder than it already is

im so upset its driving me crazy bcus my mom complained about this cleaner who would "put things everywhere" but now she does the exact same thing to me?????? it frustrates me bcus i have to always handle their feelings with care and they do none of that with me and bully me and abuse me to this day still

cw smoking and self harm mentioned briefly

.

.

.

was told they wouldnt do much, just shifting things and wiping down but they moved everything into bags, randomly grouping things and even moved stuff from the mental hospital (that i kept secret so now they probs know im seeking help) and now:

1. idk where anything is and if i want to find it ill have to "undo" everything and 2. its stressing me out bcus idk where anything is and if they found my cigarettes and razors. 3. my mom says my aunt and her helper (the people who did most of the cleaning) are gonna finish it and that i should focus on my exams even tho im like. not functioning now bcus everythings out of place

i know this sounds like nothing but fuck man i told them not to clean anything but theyre convinced that satan/jinn are in my room bcus of my mess and thats why im so "lazy" and tired and mentally ill and that its MY fault bcus i dont throw things away even tho its cus its gotten so bad bcus my mom used to threaten me and force me into cleaning that completely stripped open my privacy. but after that my mom and aunt were sooo smug and proud of themselves and anal about my sister not. bringing my pads into my room? 😭 what??? my room feels so fucking weird now. i feel so sooo exposed and it feels irritating that no matter what i say about not coming in and upending my life and turning it inside out these people (my mom and aunt) wont listen and will just do whatever they deem fit. they asked the helper to help clean and its so embarassing she had to see all that and also i know how tiring it is bcus she takes care of my bedbound dementia(?) grandma and my aunt and mom nitpick her and yell at her a lot and make her work harder than it already is

im so upset its driving me crazy bcus my mom complained about this cleaner who would "put things everywhere" but now she does the exact same thing to me?????? it frustrates me bcus i have to always handle their feelings with care and they do none of that with me and bully me and abuse me to this day still