I think I mightve been SA'd
his happened many years ago, but its still something I never quite forgot so I figured maybe it would help to just write it out.
Ive never liked drinking, I've stopped entirely by now, but back when I was a teen I was trying to fit in and would make myself miserable by drinking at parties. For context, when I do drink my hangovers are usually BAD and I never ever let myself drink to the point of blacking out
So one night there was a super large party, not a house party exactly, but everyone piled into cars and trucks and they all parked in a private farm area, so there were people walking around outside and going in and out of people's vechiles, and of course, lots of alcohol.
I remember there was one guy who was being kinda creepy and hitting on me but I pretty much just kept ignoring him and walking away, no one else likes him either and there was a moment where everyone was shotgunning and he gave me an open beer, another guy nearby saw me looking at the beer suspiciously and he subtly offered to switch cans with me which I accepted.
Even so, I barely drank any of it. I took a few gulps and gave the rest to someone else to finish
I remember sipping on some other beers throughout the day and then just...nothing
One minute I was sitting in a truck talking to people sipping on a beer and then the next moment all of a sudden I feel groggy and Im waking up in someone's arms in an entirely different vechile. And now the sky was dark, which means I just missed about 3 hours of the day. He was super kind to me and asked if I was okay when I was waking up and I remember him turning up the heat of the truck and he was super worried about me, said I randomly came into his car shaking so he was trying to warm me up
And then I blanked again, and all of a sudden I was in an entirely different vechile AGAIN, in a DIFFERENT mans arms?? 5 minutes later I was puking out the window
And couldnt stop puking for a long while. I remember the rest of the evening and I woke up with no hangover.
I dont remember having any soreness on my body or anything, I was a virgin at that time so I feel like if something happened then I would be sore, right?
A few years later, I lost my virginity and I didnt have any bleeding which I did think was interesting.
Perhaps I did get drugged but nothing happened or maybe I just genuinely drank too much and dont remember it, it just weighs on my mind constantly.
I also developed a CNC kink randomly, and I get incredibly uncomfortable when people touch me or are too close to me which I feel like started after that night
Maybe its nothing or maybe it is something, I dont know. But I cant stop thinking about it. Its been over 6 years now, and I still cant remember a single thing from that night.
UPDATE:
edit to this post because I just remembered something that may or may not be related.
About 2 years after this night that I dont remember, I had just gotten mardied and my cousin was in town and he asked to stop by my apartment and have a drink with me. I said sure, thinking it would be just him, instead he came with a group of multiple other men, I immediately sent him away, because I wasnt comfortable being alone with thar many men. Not even an hour later, I get a message on Snapchat from a new account, it had a name of a man ive never heard of and no bitcoin and very new snapscore. His message said "wow I forgot how pretty you are, you look even hotter now that youre married"
Im confused and respond "who is this??" And he says "you know me, remember? That one night on Christmas" (the night I dont remember) I answer "no I dont know you, I think you have me mistaken" And he starts saying things like "dont lie, you had fun with me. We made out...and more💦"
At this point I was kind of freaking out and I message that cousin to ask for the names of all the men who were in that group. None of them were the name of that Snapchat acc. I told him whats going and he got worried and interrogated all the men who were with him and all of them acted innocent.
I tried to get details from the man messaging me but he wouldnt elaborate, at the point when he said "I noticed your husband wasnt home, I can come by and we can talk about it in person instead👅"
At which point I immediately blocked him and left my home to spend the night with a friend (my husband was in another state on a business trip, he was panicking as well and sending his brother to keep an eye on the apartment while I was gone)
I never heard from that account again since I blocked Them, but i did recently search up his account on my husbands Snapchat and he does have an actual bitcoin and a fairly high snap score now, so it does look like that account has been in use??
Its a very common name but I dont think ive ever met anyone with that name, he was also not either of the men I remember waking up with in the vechiles the night I blacked out
I completely forgot about this interaction until now
I was also very firm on not having sex before marriage at that time, so if anything happened I likely wouldnt have been willing, or so out of it that I didnt even know what was happening