(F25) Ok, I'm aware that I'm the problem here, that's why I'm asking.
If I really like a person, I get attached much faster than it's realistic. Let's say we've only gone on one or two dates and we don't really owe each other anything, but emotionally my brain starts making movies as if we're already in a story.
I catch myself analyzing every sentence he says, especially the ones where he's planning a future with me, or if we've been making out, I believe at that moment that it has some weight, I go through his following list, I think about him 24/7, I need to be with him and talk to him non-stop. It really annoys me that this "infatuation" can't be at least a little slower and gentler towards me, because it's like everything happens too fast in my brain and then it destroys me.
At the same time, I control myself so that I don't come across as pushy, so I don't write as much as I'd like, I don't show how much I like him, and then I keep it all inside until my head explodes.
The worst part for me is when he doesn't respond to messages for a long time (more than 10 hours). And then I literally emotionally shut down to protect myself, and then it's very difficult to emotionally get back into balance afterwards. Otherwise, while all this is happening, I seem cold and uninterested, so the men never figure out how unstable I am.
I know this isn't very healthy. I'm not looking for validation for the behavior, but specifically how to cool off these phases and stay normal in that gray area until things crystallize. This has happened to too many men so far, so I'm the problem.
If someone was like this and managed to pull themselves together, how?