u/Key-Indication-1636

Hello

I'm doing a project on how different demographics of the Asian diaspora approach mental health, and one part of it is seeing how different ages of Asians approach mental health. I have a lot of material from the younger generations but nothing at all from immigrant parents/Asians.

Would anyone like to share there own perspective or can speak for their parents/give their own experience of their parent. Maybe you can ask them these questions (if that's possible).

Here are some sample questions but feel free to type whatever you want:

• What does mental health mean to them/you?
• Do they/you think mental health is unique for Asians/Asian Americans?
• How do they/you think mental health is viewed in your culture?
• How is mental health approached in their/your culture (e.g., Malaysia, Korea)?
• What role does religion or spirituality play?
• How do cultural expectations (success, family, appearance) affect mental health?
• What has their/your own mental health experience been like?
• Have they/you experienced depression, anxiety, etc.?
• What are their/our biggest stressors?

Hi! I'm a Millennial and attending my bachelor's as a non-traditional student. To be specific I'm 31. I briefly attended college in my early twenties and I remember people in my generation drinking a lot. Like A LOT. I actually thought it was a little out of control sometimes. A lot of drunk driving, drinking on school nights, heavy partying, mixing drugs like weed and molly with alcohol. I just remember a lot of that. But now that I'm attending classes with an entirely new generation, I'm noticing that they are really put together. At least the people in my classes, but I am also taking three different types of programs that have different demographics of people and they all seem like they don't abuse recreational substances and alcohol which is really great! I mean I have met like maybe one person who said he goes to raves, but he still looks a lot more put together compared to the people I went to college with. But it makes me wonder if Gen Z even drinks or smokes weed or does anything recreationally. I'm curious about their habits, how often they do it, and so forth.

Just for reference: everyone is this story is Asian. Both my fiance and I are half white.

Okay, so my fiances mother is known to be incredibly difficult. She picks fights with people, she yells at people, she bosses people around, she makes fun of you, and because of her explosive temper people just let her do it. And if they don't tolerate it, she uses some form of emotional manipulation to shut you up whether it be bringing up something you're self conscious about, guilty about, or what have you.

I am seriously trying to make the dynamic work with her, but being the only person who has had therapy in the family I am the only one putting up boundaries with her and she's not taking it well. Mind you, she at times can be nice to be around. Of course, she provides a lot for her son and me when I stay over where she cooks like hell, doesn't ask him to pay rent, and she helps me out with favors even when I don't ask. But I will not tolerate people disrespecting me just because she does all of this for me.

Currently, I have a lot of issues with my car and it would be expensive to get it fixed at the shop. My fiance said he'll ask him mom if she knows someone to help with the repairs and price. In addition, she said she would give me the Honda she and her son have been trying to sell for free. This is so generous of her. I won't take it, only because I'm going to be applying for jobs soon and the car has a few dents and stains. My car is a Camry so I know it'll be fine with the few repairs so I told declined her offer with thankfulness. I digress.

But on that same event, she's been acting out of control. The day we were supposed to see her mechanic, she never actually made an appointment when she said she would. So we didn't end up going. I had really rough sleep that night so when she said we're not going to the appointment, I only said "Oh man, I could have slept in a little more." I didn't know she didn't make an appointment. All she said was the mechanic told her he was out of town. Apparently she took what I said personally, my fiance and I realized last night. So we sat down at the dinner table to eat breakfast and she changed. In a few hours from then I was going to drive 1 hr and 45 minutes to have a cute high tea party with my sisters for my older sisters birthday, and sure it's going to be expensive but I didn't really care. But she started talking about the price as if I should be worried about it and then also isolating me from her and her son who would be together for the day. She was like, "Well, me and **** are going to have dinner together. What do you want for dinner?" (Btw she never asks him what he wants to eat and doesn't like cooking for him. She only cooks when im around). This felt like she was making me feel bad for going, and also for some reason was making me feel like I am acting higher class than her? Just cos I'm having high tea?

That whole thing made me so upset, and my fiance told her what she did wrong. She tried to cover it up saying that she was trying to compliment me. And as I was rushing to get ready to leave but she kept offering me things like food instead of saying sorry. Which only slowed me down more. Of course I declined the food.

I was still mad at her after that. It's been a week. After we went to the mechanic the next day she said she was going to get back to me about what he says about the car. So I didn't text her at all about it. I'm also completing my last two weeks of undergrad as a non traditional student so things are SO stressful right now with finals. But she texted me on Wednesday, literally during the peak of it, asking if we can talk about the car "now". As if I was avoiding her the last few days in text (we don't even text). I said no because of finals and I can talk on Friday since im really busy. She kept pushing for me to tell her to get the car fixed with the mechanic, but I want to know what he's going to do especially since the guy at the first shop said make sure I don't do any welding. But I didn't have time to have that conversation and she kept pushing. So I said please respect what I'm asking you. Then she stopped.

Apparently this made her angry and all week she has been taking it out of my fiance (she takes her anger out of him a lot) by yelling at him. And she's telling him that im ungrateful. Even though I'm the only one in the family who always thanks her for what she does.

I'm now worried about whats going to happen leading up to my graduation lunch where all my relatives are going to be there. They never met. I'm scared of the manipulation she's going to pull in the next few weeks. My fiance said she will be on good behavior there, because she has a persona she uses for work and she's likely use it then. But I'm worried about how she will be with me. I'm thinking about not being around the house.

My fiance also wants us to live together with her after my lease is up in September to save money for kids. The house would be going to us in four years when she moves to texas. But I don't think this is a good idea. She can be nice to live with sometimes but I cannot stand the moments she acts up. My fiancee hates it too but he said he's use to it at the same time.

Hey! So I'm 31 and I'm graduating in May! Wooo! I booked my appointment to get my grad photos taken this Monday. My only question is if any other non-traditional have gotten their photos taken? I feel like grad photos are mostly for parents to display in their homes, I don't fit into this situation. And I'm trying to think of where I would use these pictures. Just trying to see if there's any reason for me to take them.

I know this seems minor, but it just pissed me off. So I was on my way home, driving. And I'm about to turn to go to my street. I put my turn signal on and I slow down. Of course I don't turn immediately because there are cars coming so I stop. Then the person behind me is shaking there head at me. Like why? For what? Did they want me to go immediately? I seriously have no idea what they want from me. So I like motion to them that I'm stopping because I'm about to turn, because maybe they're too stupid to see I have my turn signal on. But they continue shaking their head at me.

Of course, it literally takes 5 seconds for me to slow down and also wait for the car to pass, and then I go. But seriously, why are people like this.

And no, I didn't wait long before I put on my signal to slow down.

As the title says but if you want a little backstory:

Hi, so I'm a native English speaker. I'm about to graduate undergrad but I've been learning Arabic (MSA) for the last three semesters. I grew up in the Middle East so, while Arabic is hard, it still feels natural to me. I would like to continue learning it in the Lebanese dialect after I graduate. However, my fiance is Vietnamese and I would like to learn Vietnamese after I graduate as well to talk to his family members, and since I'm Indonesian I would also like to learn Indonesian after I graduate so I can talk to my indonesian relatives.

Is this too many languages to learn at the same time?

Hello, I looking to live near my boyfriend. He's in Longmeadow, and I heard W. Springfield has affordable-ish rent so it would be nice to look there. But I would like to live near the large Arab community there. Which neighborhood do they mostly live in? What are those neighborhoods like?

Hello, I looking to live near my boyfriend. He's in Longmeadow, and I heard W. Springfield has affordable-ish rent so it would be nice to look there. But I would like to live near the large Arab community there. Which neighborhood do they mostly live in? What are those neighborhooda like?