u/Key-Fish7151

Hi everyone! Long time reader first time poster.

My ex broke up with me about a year ago, largely because of cultural/family differences he couldn’t clearly articulate. During the relationship, I had asked about those concerns repeatedly and he reassured me, but near the end he suddenly framed them as a major issue and left right before a period where I really needed him to show up for me.

He has never once reached out on his own. When I asked to talk a few months later, he initially blamed me for a lot of the dynamic before admitting he was unhappy and obsessing over whether he had made the right choice. He essentially said someone else might make him feel less confused about what he wants.

Since then, there has been no real contact. When we’ve run into each other in public, he has seemed unsettled, but he still doesn’t say anything. I broke no-contact recently and told him I missed him. He said he missed me too and that this past year would have been happier with me in it, but he also referenced moving on.

I know I need to move on because he treated me badly and has taken no real initiative. But I keep getting stuck on how unsettled he seems and on the contradiction of him saying things like that while still staying silent. It doesn’t seem like he’s any less confused a year later. Has anyone experienced this kind of dynamic? Do people like this ever come back with clarity/accountability, or is the silence itself the answer?

Hi everyone! Long time reader first time poster.

My ex effectively discarded me one year ago for cultural reasons, though he was unable to explain what those were. We’d been together for -1 year and he was really driving forward commitment and marriage, but he had some family dynamics that gave me pause. They were pretty brutal to me (wouldn’t acknowledge my existence) and he couldn’t stand up for me in the end. When all his social events ended suddenly this was a problem - he just left me one day. Kept changing his mind and put me through absolute hell. This happened right before a few things I needed him to show up for - events that were important to me.

He has never once reached out to me on his own volition, but I asked him to meet up about six months later and he finally said yes because he also “needed closure”. I was very angry and told him how badly he hurt me, but he had changed his story - it was now my fault he felt alone and wasn’t culturally connected and someone else would do better. But he then cracked and told me he missed me a ton and was obsessing over his decision every moment of the day.

Never reached out to me save for a dumb apology letter that didn’t say much. But I catch him running down my street and staring at me from afar when we run into each other in public - it’s so odd.

Four months after we met up I opened a conversation to say I miss him - he said every experience would’ve been better with me and moving on was hard. Never heard from him again - this was two months ago .

I need to get over it but it’s so hard. - How could he not contact me for an entire year? Will he come back? It seems inevitable sometimes and impossible others. I keep thinking he’ll see his selfishness and come back but maybe I’m wrong. He just seems so unsettled.