I currently work a full time job: Mon-Friday 8-330. I’m having to leave my boyfriend as I found out he’s a full blown alcoholic. I have to protect myself and my son. Rent is insane and then you add summer camp, before and after care, utilities, car payment and the list goes on. I have to somehow bring in a little extra. Even if it’s just $200-$400 extra per month, I have to find something. TY!
Edit: I live in Indiana
So I just told my boyfriend’s mom I would be moving myself and my son out due to what’s happened and the risks involved(you can see my previous post with the details). My boyfriend is an alcoholic, which I didn’t know, he’s about to finish a 30 day rehab and also has cirrhosis and acute liver failure. I told her about it and she says “Seems like he deserves a chance like you had when you needed help but it's up to you.” She’s pissing me off! I know I’m making the right decision, I just needed to tell her and be honest with her. I HATE the way she’s putting me down right now like I’m wrong for protecting myself and my son. I need support and maybe something I can say to her that I don’t know how to put in words? I’m so frustrated right now
Update: I had a meeting with him and his counselor at the rehab facility today. He comes home Thursday. I went ahead and told him that due to everything that’s happened and how he’s affected myself and my son, I will be moving out in the next week or 2 but hopefully next week. At first he seemed respectful and would say I respect that decision. But then he basically started begging me to stay. He said, “I want you to give me a chance to prove to you that I’m taking this serious and I will do everything that
I need to do.” I continued to tell him that I’m doing this to protect my son and I, I have to. I said I am giving you a chance, but I’ll be doing that from a different home. I can still tell that he hasn’t fully accepted how bad he’s hurt those around him. He most definitely minimized my need for peace, to be fully present for my son, as if I’m making the wrong decision. He obviously doesn’t want to admit that he messed up and owning how he deeply hurt us. The trust isn’t there, at all. I told him I feel very betrayed and I need my space. His focus NEEDS to be his recovery, not a relationship. And he still didn’t agree with me leaving. It was a really hard convo to have but I wasn’t going to fold. I’ve talked to my son a lot recently and I’ve realized that he wants to move. It’s always just been me and him, since he was 1. He said he wants it to be just me and him again 😭 and I will honor that, he has every right to feel that way.
Also, has anyone left their alcoholic boyfriend/spouse and continued to support them, get together here and there etc? I feel that I need to be done completely. I’m just struggling after that conversation today. It was pitiful and sad honestly. Any advice welcomed 🦋
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. I’m 35(F) and he’s 36(M). Within the last 3 months I’ve realized that’s he’s a full blown alcoholic. He’s been to the ER twice and he has cirrhosis of the liver and acute liver failure amongst other things. He also lost his job of 12 years in January due to being drunk at work at 11am. After months of him saying he wasn’t drinking, then finding out he was hiding it, I had had enough. He finally went to rehab for 30 days and was willing to go. He comes home in 2 weeks. I’ve been dealing with a wave of emotions, so many emotions. I also have an 11 year old son and all I want to do is protect him and myself. I’ve been through a lot of trauma in my life and I have strong boundaries. It’s not something I’m willing to put up with or put my son through. My boundary will be- if he drinks anymore, even once, I’m done. I’ve visited with him twice now in 2 weeks. He looks so much better BUT I don’t feel like I love him right now. I’ve tried but I don’t even get excited when I go see him. Right now I feel like I’ve checked out. I see a therapist in 2 days and will discuss further. Has anyone had these same feelings? And it’s early on. I wish I felt excited and felt like I have faith in him but right now I’m trying to force those things. I struggle with whether I should leave now or stay and pray he follows through, finds a sponsor and works the steps? I just don’t know what to do. Moving right now would traumatize my son. We moved in about 7 months ago and having to move him again would be ALOT. But so will staying….any advice is appreciated.
Edit to add: I fell in love with this man. We had so much in common, I told him everything and felt so loved and supported by him. He’s smart, worked hard, had a great job. He was so calm and down to earth and I wanted someone like that because most of my life has been chaos. I felt like this was finally my time to settle down, love and be loved, I was like yes, I deserve this. And now, the relationship is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what I thought it would be. And now that he’s in rehab, and I can think a little clearer, I’m so turned off. In every way. I wish I didn’t feel this way but I do.