My talking stage (19M) went through my phone (18F) and now things are tense - how do I go about this?
I (18F) and this guy (19M) let’s call him Josh have known each other for just over 7 months now.
Long story short we hung out for the first time and planned to drink later in the evening (everything was friendly so far) we went back to mine and obv got drunk.
We ended up having sex, which I wasn’t planning at all since I’ve never done casual sex. He left the following afternoon and I wasn’t sure if we would talk after that, as many guys often leave/stop talking after they get what they want (obviously not all, but it’s a common situation) however we ended up talking nearly every day.
Fast forward a few months we spent new years together, where I saw him text another girl, I was a bit hurt but thought it was none of my business since we never talked about what we were and didn’t mention any boundaries.
We met up again later on, our hangouts would usually consist of us just talking and then having sex - all good vibes and we both enjoyed each others company. At the same time we were really good friends and could talk to each other about anything. I trusted him a lot and he was there for me through some hard times.
I need to mention that I wasn’t sure how he felt about me and I kept my options open and was talking to a few other guys, one of which I’ve known for a few years - however it wasn’t working out for a while and I’ve been considering ending it multiple times.
From the time period of around March-April we would talk every single day and would FaceTime/play video games. I kinda realised that I was catching feelings which made me nervous as I didn’t know if he only saw me as a friend/friends with benefits kinda thing. I really enjoy talking to him and we’ve gotten really close over the last few months which made me appreciate having him in my life.
A few days ago we spent my birthday together, Obviously we had sex but it felt slightly more intimate this time? We would always hold hands when outside and it just seemed like we were more “romantic” than usual. We did go to the club and he was always making sure I was safe and would guide me around as it was my first time going there. We were both quite drunk but made it back to the airbnb, I ordered some food but fell asleep immediately as I was really tired.
When I woke up everything seemed normal however he was quiet at times to which I didn’t pay much attention. Again, we held hands and cuddled the whole morning. I ended up going back home in the evening and received a text from Josh asking to talk about something. Josh ended up confessing that he went through my phone when I was asleep and saw my saved in chats/conversations with a few guys. He apologised for doing so but surprisingly I wasn’t even mad? I kinda understood where he was coming from and I’m also a very curious person so probs would’ve done the same if I had his password. Obv I started panicking because I know what kind of things he saw.
First of all obv he saw my conversations with the guy I’ve known for a while, and also the one thing that is kinda making this situation is worse was me sending 🍑 pics to another dude.
We called and I tried explaining how I wasn’t sure how he felt about me and whether or not he was taking me seriously this whole time. He seemed really upset and it made me sad that I made him feel this way - but how was I supposed to know he wasn’t talking to other girls ??
We called again yesterday, played video games as if nothing happened - so I brought up the situation again and tried asking him how he felt about me and he did admit that he had feelings that developed when we started talking more but tried putting them aside as he had previous bad experiences with exes. I also confessed and told Josh that I liked him a lot and that I don’t want to lose him to which he reassured me and said he wouldn’t cut me off.
This whole situation is just caused by miscommunication on both sides and it’s stressing me out cus I’m now realising how much I actually like him and I don’t want to lose him.
I ended things with my “ talking stage “ and made it clear I wasn’t interested anymore and I’m planning to cut all these guys off for him as I would actually commit. I’m just not really sure on how he feels and if I should just give him space to come around. I’m pretty sure his friends hate my ass now so I acc don’t know what to do 💔💔💔 Josh did say he will “see how things go. “
We might call again in a bit so I’ll give any updates.
Any advice is really appreciated and Ik I kinda fucked up and shouldn’t be talking to multiple guys at once but in my defence I never knew what he expected from me🙏🙏🙏