Seeking genuine advice
Salam w alaikom! Not sure if this allowed but let me know if it isn’t and I’ll delete.
I’m seeking genuine advice/opinions bc I feel like I’m losing my mind! My husband has been friends with this guy for awhile - he’s Arab like us (only saying this as it may be relevant culturally/socially) and he’s a nice guy. He recently got married and brought his wife to the country we live in. Since they’ve arrived they’ve had us over, we’ve had them over etc and checked in on them and invited them out with us. My husband and I have been married for a few years and have a little boy who’s 2. We have a routine for him and have certain structures for him I.e the normal things, bedtime routine, general life routine and we don’t allow sugar in general- but we make exceptions if we go out for ice cream and we feed him from ours or if someone offers him something around other children. We are by no means strict but we know our son thrives off routine. Not too long ago they had us over and they brought out juice and i kept offering my son his water and he insisted on drinking the juice. so i came to give him a sip of mine and she insisted on giving him his own cup. I told her no no it’s fine he can have from mine but she’s like no haram he should have his own. I allowed it despite it being a boundary of mine. A little while later my sons rummaging through my bag and pulls out one of my husbands protein bars, I take it from him and offer him something else bc obviously I am not giving my 2 year old a high protein high everything protein bar and she’s like oh I have muesli bars I’ll go get him one - in this situation I would have 100% allowed a muesli bar bc I do not want my child to have negative associations with food sugar diets etc bc I believe all food is good in moderation - she pulls out a full size chocolate bar for my son and before I can even say anything my sons already got it in his hand and is eating from it and I cannot in good conscience take something out of my child’s hand when it’s in the grand scheme of things harmless but again, for me, I felt misled, a chocolate bar is not a muesli bar and I was frustrated. My husband and I both took turns taking bites of the chocolate bar when our son wasn’t noticing to limit how much he ate. She kept saying things like haram he’s a kid let him
Enjoy life and I’m like what aspect of my child’s life makes you think my child isn’t happy or thriving or content? He’s not deprived. He has a balanced diet like what? But again, I gave her the benefit of the doubt bc I was like she doesn’t have kids yet, she doesn’t get it and she won’t till she has a child of her own. Until today. Today we were invited to an event that they also were invited to. She kept taking my son off me and making it seem like my son was hers in the over loving on him and feeding him etc way, which again, bothers me bc that’s my son I’ve only recently met you. Again, I was like you know what why would I hate on someone loving my child, so I stayed quiet. At some point during this event she took photos with my son. I did not see this. I just opened Instagram and found that she’s posted these photos on her story. I have NEVER posted my child’s face on social media. I am very protective of his identity and I have good reason to not put him on social media as many other mums do. I lost it at this point. Told my husband who also got mad and said she’s never going near him again. I messaged her and told her to remove the photos please bc I do not post my child. She still hasn’t seen it but seriously? Am I losing it? Is this normal? Like would you feel the way I do about this? I know im quite a type A person and have my parenting rules etc - (I’m a first time mum and I’m learning the ropes) but I do not consider myself insanely strict but like anyone, I have my limits and I just feel like I’m being made to feel crazy or overprotective or just over the top and idk - just wanting to hear from other mums or non mums to hear their perspectives