What should I do
After we had a big argument. Which I started and was heavily drunk and going in on her for 4 hours. We talked the next day as if nothing happen the the day after that she called me and told me she can’t continue the relationship. During the breakup conversation it was a 3 hour conversation where she was crying the whole time. She was telling me why she can’t continue. I asked her if she wants me to stop talking to her and leave her alone. She struggled to get the words out but shaking her head yes. She said some things that was off to me. For two years she never said she love me. Not once. But at the very end she told me she does love me. Another thing she said was she’ll upset that I’ll improve from this situation and another girl is gonna get a better version of me. Another thing I said was if we actually had real separation maybe we can try again. And she said she can’t give me an answer to that. So many things that’s so off to me. So we said our goodbye and left it at that. The next day she texted me and said “I feel like i was very harsh in telling you that we should completely stop talking. That was me trying to protect my peace. I still haven’t changed my mind about us being done. However, my emotions are not the only ones to take into consideration so I will say if talking or checking in every once in a while will help I am OK with that!” Then I said she wasn’t being harsh. Then she said “I’m just keeping the option open” then I said “what option” then she said “ The option to check up on or how you offered if there were any questions I’m just saying you could do the same if you had any for me” after that we called and she told me she offer that because it was to ease my pain then I ask just mines? I ask her if she feels petty for me. Then she said it’s to ease hers as well. She wanted a gradual separation not a full cut off that’s hard for her to do. But I told her I can’t do that and she started crying and said okay and that’s the end.