My mother passed away and I'm gutted.
My mom passed away on Saturday, the day before mother’s day. We were going to visit her as she was recently put in hospice. We thought we would have a little more time, but it came very sudden.
My mom died at 68 after 7 years battling cancer. She was with my father for 45 years, she was his soulmate. I rushed to the hospital at 11PM that night and my father told me over the phone that she was still conscious and on morphine but I heard a faint voice on the line saying that she had already passed. I arrived and she was hooked up to some tubes. I had never seen a decreased body before, I was not ready to that night. I felt my moms head, and what little hair she had left after so many treatments.. she was so cold. Her eye was open starring up at me. Her being in that state will live in my memory forever.
I’m just so incredibly sad. I find myself just crying thinking about how little time she got to spend with her grandchildren. I’m even sadder for my father, he took care of her every step of the way and never left her side.
I know that time heals all wounds, but I’m just so sad now. I get to hold my kids tight and tell them I love them, that is comforting but when I’m alone, I can’t help but think that time is so short and think of my own mortality.
If anyone has any advice on how to navigate this, I would appreciate it. I can’t help but think of my mom's body on the hospital bed. I don't want this to be my last memory of her. I wish I could have been with her in her final moments, but my father said she passed in his arms and that is something I know not every gets.
Thank you.