u/Kevenchio

Hey yall, so a bit of a summary of my situation, i wanna get prescription medication because i feel as if it is the only answer. Ive struggled all my life with unhappiness and anxiety, going in and out of loops of self loathing and will to live that i feel almost bipolar (i tend to be quite the hypochondriac about this stuff). Only very recently has this developed into sh, and i feel like these loops only go further and further down, creating new rock bottoms to hit, and it feels like i just keep digging down whenever i sh, as if i didnt allow myself to rise back up again like i tend to do. Another thing that might be related is that i have these intrusive thoughts/visualizations of the most horrid shit/suicidal content ever, ive had them since i have memory so i really didnt think much of it, they just made me angsty in the moment and that was all, but with sh now in my life these turn into panic furies that can go on for a while if i dont cope/sh. I really feel that if i go to a psychiatrist and get medicated for some sort of ansiolitic then i might just be able to feel something else than this