I'm graduating with my PhD from a top tier school and my mom decided to skip my commencement to get cosmetic surgery instead. I am so enraged by this that I can't even see straight. Years of her not supporting my achievements but bragging about them to others, telling me directly, constantly that she didn't support me, but performing being proud of me when other people were watching. I guess I always thought she'd show up to this and I could, I don't know, show her? Not that I expect her to be actually proud of me, but I guess I just wanted her to see what she could've supported.
And also there's a part of me that doesn't want her there anyways, but is just sad that she doesn't want to be there? Does that make sense?
My dad would've moved heaven and earth to be there, but he's dead. It's heartbreaking to do this without him.
I just want to go nuclear on this. I'm already low contact, but this is just, so beyond what I could've ever imagined. But I feel guilty, just constantly guilty about being so angry with her, even though she's constantly terrible to me.
I don't know. It just hurts.