I have a friend, “Ryan,” who is always late. Not five minutes late. More like everyone has ordered food, finished drinks, and started wondering if he forgot late.
Usually I try to be patient because I know some people are just bad with time. But lately it’s become a thing where the rest of us end up working around him every single time.
Last weekend a few of us went to a small local comedy show. It was general seating, and the place fills up fast, so we all agreed to meet at 7:15. The show started at 8.
Ryan texted at 7:20 saying he was “almost there.” At 7:45 he still wasn’t there. The seats around us were filling up, and people kept asking if the empty chair next to me was taken. I said yes twice.
Then a woman asked if she could sit there because her friend was already sitting nearby. I let her have it.
Ryan showed up around 8:05 and got annoyed that he had to sit in the back by himself. He said I knew he was coming and that I should have saved his seat because that’s what friends do. I told him friends also show up when they say they will.
He said I embarrassed him and made him feel excluded from the group. A couple people said I could have held the seat for just a little longer, but honestly I was tired of guarding an empty chair for someone who treats start times like suggestions.
Now Ryan is acting like I purposely punished him instead of just not making his lateness everyone else’s problem.
AITBF?