After about 6 months of fighting for the relationship, she finally gave up today
I'm absolutely devastated. I don't even know why I am posting this and what I am expecting to get out of it, but I just feel like I have to vent the feelings out somewhere.
Me (27M) and my girlfriend (27F) have been together for almost 5 years. We've had such an amazing time together, the fingers on one hand would suffice to count the number of fights we had, we had similar hobbies, great communication and everything was perfect. Until it wasn't.
About a year ago, she started having some sort of an uneasy feeling that she's not quite happy. Or at least not as happy as before. She started going to therapy and we talked about it here and there, but it got really bad about 6 months ago when one day she sort of snapped, said she couldn't handle the stress of not knowing what the reason is anymore and we broke up. It didn't last though, she realized it was too rash and we started going to couples' therapy together. At some point, we realized it may be due to her never having lived through an independent phase, she was always either dependent on her parent, or after that, on me. So we made adjustments, split our finances to give her more responsibility and since that time was lined up with us moving back home from abroad at different times, she had a few months to fend for herself before I moved in. The last month that we were together and the following 3 months of being sort of long distance (but with contact), it was great. We both felt like we're healing, we both felt like we hit the nail on the head and finally found out what the reason for her unhappiness was and how to fix it.
Then I moved back in with her. At first it seemed great, we were both excited. But after about 3 weeks I started having some uneasy feeling like there is tension and she did not seem to be that willing to spend time with me. I was away for the past week and today when I arrived, she was not here. She then came for about 10 minutes to tell me she is still unhappy and that she wants to end it and that I have a week to move out. Pretty much without emotions, totally brutal. Apparently she has already had her time to deal with it, which I don't understand when, because a week ago she was sending me messages about how she loves me...
I'm totally crushed. If the amount of effort we put into repairing our relationship did not save it, how can I ever expect to find something that works? I have learned absolutely nothing except for the fact, that you can try everything you can, be the best partner you can be and it still isn't enough and there is no logical reason for it, it's just that the other person prefers to be single at this time.
My heart is broken into a million pieces and I don't even know where to begin to pick them up, I have no idea what my future will look like without her, because all my plans for living, finances, family, were completely dependant on us being together forever. And now I have to figure out how to find a place to live in a few weeks.
The worst thing is that I still can't even really be mad at her.. although my family and friends are, I understand that before today, she fought hard. She did not choose the way she feels. I know for a fact she finds me great and loves me somehow. So the only thing I know is that I lost (I think we both did) the best thing that ever happened to me.