Cliff notes: my sister lied about being sober from hard drugs for that past 10 years. She is now sober (I know because she literally doesn't leave my mom's apartment), but clearly not mentally stable, and refuses to get help of any kind. Most of the family has cut ties with her until she gets help. She is claiming we've all abandoned her, and she sends us all random, insane texts all day every day. Have I set a safe boundary for my own mental health, or have I abandoned her?
Long story: My sister was addicted to drugs from age 15 to around 25- mainly heroin. She is now 35. After a month of bizarre behavior- we all thought she was having a mental breakdown or schizophrenia or something similar (paranoia, hallucinations, manic behavior)- she tells us that she did DMT to get sober from being on meth for the last 10 years. She said she's been using meth "occasionally" to deal with her anxiety. She chalks her recent behavior up to being sober for the first time in her life and not being able to tell the difference between reality and dreaming, and thinking everyone she's harmed in the past is coming to get her.
It's now been 10 months since this happened. She is living in my mom's 1 bedroom apartment, stays in bed all day, barely showers. My other sister, dad, and I have told her we don't know how to rebuild our relationships with her after being lied to for so long. She refuses to talk to us about any of her feelings, doesn't understand why we feel violated or wronged, refuses to get treatment or therapy of any kind- every excuse under the sun. She simply says we should just be happy she is sober and move on. She doesn't trust doctors or medication. She says she is fine now that she is sober (the DMT cured her), and we are all the ones that need treatment and therapy. She bombards our family with crazy text messages (sometimes over 100 a day, we don't reply to them), reaches out to distant family and friends claiming we've all abandoned her, she's homeless and starving, etc.
So, we've all mostly stopped communicating with her since she refuses help of any kind.. her unstable mental state brings too much chaos into our lives that we just can't do it anymore. We've made our wishes clear and set clear boundaries and expectations.
My mom is sober from alcohol for 10 years- she goes to AA 2x week. She is useless when it comes to helping my sister, just lets her live there and mooch off of her and doesn't engage at all. I know she is struggling with the guilt of being drunk most of our lives and contributing to my sisters addiction.
I don't know why I am writing this. Maybe I just need someone to assure me that I'm doing the right thing by not communicating with her and setting my boundary, and I haven't actually abandoned her. Maybe I'm looking for someone to tell me I need to let her in and just be happy she is sober and move on- maybe then she'll be more inclined to seek some help?
**Edited to add that we've called the crisis center and cops multiple times for wellness checks, and each time she is able to lock it up and act completely normal, and our Joel's Law application to get temporary guardianship over her was denied 2 times** (Washington state.)