u/Kachaa_Mangoe

How do i accept my life, or say my loneliness

I am teen male

My life has been a mess for almost a year now, more than a year actually

A real mess, and as a result, i have lost and i have made distance with people, i have no one in my life who has a significant value in my life

I am not really trying anymore to get better, i have accepted or say decided it logically that i don't want anyone in my life

Now, the part where i need help is

I do feel loneliness, even if i have accepted it, i am not free from it, i still can't help but be on my phone, play games, or doom scroll social media, like as if i am searching for someone there, as if i am on my phone, someone would message me and ask if i am ok

i have accepted no one will, but i still sub consciously yearn for someone

this becomes such a big problem for me, because

i am in a crucial phase of my life, i am preparing for college entrance exams

I can't keep up with constant routine of doom scrolling, overeating, gaming and all of that shit

Is there any way, i can just accept my life, as it is, and like run on autopilot, at least for a year, i need to go to a college, i need to get a job and whatever, but if i can't study, how can i do anything

so in short, how do i stop loneliness from just ruining my academics

how do i focus for long

How do i do anything, like where do i go, which direction, i don't even know what i wanna ask, man such a headache

Side note: i would appreciate if no one try to convince me with optimism, it is fine if it is not fine, but i really don't like optimism.

also you don't have to advice, if you are just gonna state the obvious

Just honest(and preferable kind) advice

Thank you, if you read all of that, Love you