u/K_D_1809

I’m (30 F). Today I decided to set everything free.

I was raped when I was 12 by my math private tutor, and it finally stopped when I was 14. Because I told my mother what happened, and she victim blamed me and criticised me.

Except for her, no one ever knew about this.

My dad who passed away 4 years ago, he was a good dad, but he worked all the time because my mother couldn’t. He rarely stayed home. He came from a very difficult family, he lost his mother when he was 3, and later his father when he was 5. His stepmother abused him too. And because I was neglected, beaten and abused by my mother at a very young age, I have learned to put others needs, wants and emotions above myself.

I chose not to tell my dad, about the abuse, about the rape. Because I saw how much sacrifice he had made for me, for us. How much he loved me and how much he wanted his own family to be happy all together. So this is the secret I have kept and he will never know. He never knew the abuse happened at home and I don’t regret.

So he can let go in peace thinking his daughter is gonna be okay. And right after he passed away, I chose to walk away from my family. I suffered the abuse because I know all he ever wanted was a family… I just wanted to protect him.

He is one of the reasons why I changed my career and chose to study psychology. My trauma, his trauma and the desire to be there and protect kids that are like me and him.

Thank you for reading all of this. I found this sub so comforting and loving. Maybe this is why I posted it here.

English is my second language, I am sorry if there are some grammar errors.