Back story summary-
15 years of marriage - 2 kids
Toxic relationship from both sides
I treated my husband badly killing his self esteem and have anger issues that effected how I treated him
Last year a coworker popped up and gave him attention
He was checked out of marriage (usually he would try and fix things)
Cheated emotionally had feelings for this person and had sex with her 3 times ( according to his credit card statement for hotel)
Dec 22nd he confessed to me about everything and begged for a chance
Jan 28th I learned they were still communicating and met twice for dinner and kissed
We separated from Dec to April and now we are under one roof but sleep in separate rooms
We are doing solo counseling
He stopped contacting her and the coworker is no longer at the company ( proof from his work and her husband who i talked to )
My husband got me tracker, i have access to his phone any time.
We might start MC soon
I cant seem to feel ok with what he did to this day. I feel ashamed to work things out with him and the sex part is making it impossible for me to want to reconcile
He is trying on his end but I dont know if its enough 😔
Anyone was able to get over being cheated on especially the sex part ? I am struggling mentally with wanting to stay and work on things
Part of me feels like I had a tad bit of responsibility of pushing him away as I treated him like shit over the years which makes me feel stuck on what to do 😐