u/K1NG33C0BRA

Context:I have contamination ocd around fecal matter.

I was in the bathroom wiping after a bowel movement when I had to get up midway and get a new tp roll. I’m worried a small speck of poo could have fallen off of me onto my clothing and/or shoes. I didn’t see this happen but I don’t really have a way to disprove it. OCD has given me ibs like symptoms that make bowel movements especially hard to clean which contributes to my worry. Is my worry valid or is this just ocd?

Sorry if this post gets graphic/disgusting. For context I have contamination ocd especially around fecal matter. Ironically I think the anxiety from ocd has given me ibs like symptoms that mean my butt gets especially dirty when using the bathroom.

I have gotten into the habit of taking photos of my butt after my shower to check if I am 100% clean, and around a month ago I did that and thought I was clean. Then the next day for a reason I can’t remember I checked again and saw a small speck of fecal matter/mucus slightly in the anus (my doctor says that the increased mucus being there is possible since I often wipe way more than most people). I am terrified of something like leakage, and am hoping that I just took the second photo while looking slightly deeper, meaning I just missed it the first time but these photos have since been deleted so I can’t be sure. Since it was a month ago I only remember a bit of what happened and feel like I can’t disprove the possibility of leakage.

Then other day I had to get up to get more toilet paper in the middle of wiping and am worried a small piece of fecal matter could have fallen off me on to my clothing and/or shoes. I feel like this is physically possible but I also feel kind of insane for feeling disgusted at clothing I never saw get dirty. Because the concern is fecal matter it’s not really possible for me to see the problem as not disgusting and a big deal. I want to believe it’s ocd but I feel like with the ibs symptoms I was especially dirty which makes this situation possible.

I’ve been losing my mind the last couple days trying to disprove these possibilities in my head but I can’t come up with anything and am wondering if I sound insane or if other people have had similar situations.

A few years ago I had much worse hygiene that I do now and got skid marks on some underwear. I don’t remember what I did with them but looking back I’m worried I might have thrown them in with other laundry with cold water and detergent (no pre treating or soaking). I no longer have that set of underwear but I still have all the same other clothing/bedding that could have touched that underwear. I feel really disgusted right looking at all my clothing that I’ve thought was clean, and am worried that poo could have touched the clothing and been washed improperly. I haven’t found any stains yet but feel like I can’t be certain that there aren’t any, and am tempted to replace my clothing bedding/ but I also feel kind of insane for doing so. I’m not sure what a normal person would do since I do have ocd now.