It's been a while since the first post so I'll try to make this one stand alone, but the beginning of the story is on my page and such if you're interested.
At the start of this year I was living with my partner Angie in an apartment we got together. We were poly from the start, but up until now if we had other partners it was separate and short-lived. Sometime in January though she started dating a girl named Alex (27, f). She encouraged me and Alex to consider a relationship, and quickly we decided to initiate one, making us all three partners but dating individually.
I pretty quickly started to notice that Alex would get a lot more attention than me. But I had already battled jealousy for so long I was used to just seeing it as a flaw of mine. So I would mention it occasionally but generally accept that they were in their honeymoon phase. Why that didn't apply to me as a similarly new partner to Alex didn't really occur to me. But early on after Alex started staying with us for weeks at a time, they both lost their jobs on the same day, making me the only stable income.
This placed extra strain on things as I was working all the time only for them to reap the benefits while having all day together and then continuing to focus on each other into the night. I started getting extremely depressed thinking I'd lost Angie without even realizing. Then one day she decided she couldn't stand being around me. It was vague at first but eventually seemed to be about how she couldn't handle me and Alex being romantic. She would always admit she needed to work on it and apologize, but then she'd still get upset every time Alex and I showed affection.
This led to what was supposed to be a month break in my and Angie's relationship during which she stayed at Alex's house. But two weeks in their housing situation fell through and they moved in with 2 of Angie's other partners. A few days passed and she showed back up at my apartment having apparently broken up with those 2 partners as well as being on a break from Ashe now. She expressed wanting to get back together but I just said I needed more time.
The next day Alex threatened to shoot those ex partners, still staying at their house. This resulted in a simple assault charge and us having to bond her out of jail with money we definitely didn't have. I had just lost my job to a store closing down and everyone was reliant on side hustles to get by as we put in more apps. I wasn't happy about his at all but still decided to stay in a relationship with Alex.
At this point Alex and Angie immediately ended their break and Alex fully moved in, which isn't allowed but I didn't feel I had a choice. Shortly after this Angie started constantly crashing out or spiraling over Ashe and I being together - we didn't even have to be talking or showing affection anymore. She'd just break down over me and Alex being together. Eventually Alex couldn't handle it anymore and dumped me to make Angie easier to be around. Then Angie withdrew any desire to get back together.
End result: I've been sleeping on the couch for about a month because they decided I don't get to sleep on my bed in my own room Anymore. I've felt like I no longer even have rights to my home. I was hurt by how happy they were compared to me for a long time and just created emotional distance, but I had one boundary. Don't fuck in the house when I can hear it. Tell me what's going on so I can just put headphones on or take a walk. Because hearing them and people they'd bring over have sex ripped my heart out. They agreed.
On 2 separate occasions after this I woke up to them fucking and both times told them how hurt and disrespected I felt. They'd apologize and say they thought I was asleep or whatever, but both times I specified that thinking I'm asleep is not good enough. I need to be told when to block it out. I know this is a personal thing to try and control, but it was my house and my pain and I felt like I had the right to ask for this compromise.
Long story short(ish), today I woke up to them fucking some people for a 4th time and just lost it. I crashed into the room mid sex and started screaming at everyone about how much of a betrayal this was and how I asked for so little. I stormed out to breathe only to be texted by Angie that I was being kicked out of the apartment. That I was dangerous and unstable and how they all were afraid of me. Just things to make me feel bad when I gave them so many warnings and so much forgiveness...
So now I have to leave the city I love. I'm being taken off the lease and if I try to fight back they have multiple people willing to tell law enforcement I was being physically violent. So I can't win. I have to move back in with my mom and I'm turning 30 next month. I hate everything about it. I'm going to miss all my friends here so much.
Again, none of this is a condemnation of polyamory or ENMs. I think they work better than monogamy for me on a systemic level. But yeah. My first year trying it out was anything but ethical. I may pursue something in the future but for now I've given up on any belief in mutual love or romance. Pursuing it practically wasted the last 12 years of my life.
Thanks for reading if you made it this far. It's a crazy story and I didn't cover nearly all the details but I needed to get this out there even if just one person can empathize or give their opinion. I appreciate you.