Feel super self conscious and embarrassed even asking this, but I just feel really isolated and want some help from the community.
T1 diabetic for about 15 years, and currently using Medtronic 780g with Guardian 4 sensor. For the first 3 years, my blood sugars were fine. In fact, I was really care free about hypos - to the point where it was a daily occurrence. I was a kid then, about 15, and pretty stupid.
Then one day on my way to school I had a really bad hypo. Before the days of CGM, I tested my blood sugar at 20mmol/L, it was obviously a false test, bolused insulin and once I got to school I was 1.8mmol/L. Somehow not hospitalised, but it really scared me.
Fast forward 10 years and I avoid hypos at all costs. When my blood sugar drops too fast I get really anxious. I’ve tried antidepressants, therapy, I have really supportive family and friends, and I regularly see my Endo and Diabetes Educators - but I just can’t get over my fear.
I’ve had some good stints when I’m 70% in range for a few months, and then it’s like I relapse and sit between 0-30% time in range. I struggle to sleep some nights, particularly if my blood sugar is in range or dropping to range.
And now I am on temporary target almost 100% of the time. I feel I cant trust my pump to bolus correctly for me. In recent times when I have turned off my temp target, it over boluses and shoots me low (not sure if anyone else has had this issue with 780g)
I know it’s so dumb. I can rationalise why this is so bad for my health going forward. But I just can’t seem to help myself and it’s been years. I’m exhausted, and know this will end up with terrible complications if my hba1c continues to be between 9-11%.
Has anyone else experienced this? What did you do to help yourself?