I’m (F29) currently in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend (M24), and I recently decided to take some space from him after something that really shook my trust.
A girl he used to be involved with in 2022 messaged me on Threads. She told me that my boyfriend had recently tried to follow her on Instagram, and also claimed he was trying to message another girl (a cousin of someone he went to college with) while still in a relationship with me.
When I confronted my boyfriend, he admitted that he did try to add his former situationship. His explanation was that he wanted to apologize for how things ended between them. For context, their past involved a pregnancy scare, and according to her, he didn’t handle it well and placed blame on her.
I actually encouraged him to apologize if that’s what he genuinely needed for closure, and he did follow through with that. Afterward, he told me he wouldn’t do something like that again or reach out to past partners moving forward.
However, this situation really affected me. I had already been feeling uneasy for a couple of months (maybe due to the long-distance, maybe intuition—I’m not sure). The timing also felt intense because I had literally prayed the day before for a sign about whether this relationship is right for me, and then this happened.
Because of everything, I told him I think we need to slow things down and take space to figure things out individually. He didn’t want the break, but I felt like I needed it because my trust is honestly shaken.
Now I’m feeling guilty for initiating the pause, even though I was the one hurt.
Did I make the right decision here? How would you handle rebuilding trust in a situation like this?
**TL;DR:** Boyfriend’s former situationship messaged me saying he tried to reconnect with her and possibly another girl while we’re together. He admitted to reaching out but said it was to apologize. My trust is shaken, so I asked for space. Now I feel guilty—was taking a break the right move