I am a 30f, and after all these years, I am starting to suspect that I may have autism. I know people say that if you recognize it in yourself, then you probably don’t have it, but I strongly suspect that I do. This is due to the amount of masking I do, my difficulty holding or making conversations, and noticing that people seem to get overwhelmed or disinterested by me when I talk especially because I tend to only speak when I’m interested in something.
Another big factor is my learning. It took me eight years to graduate from college, not because I’m unintelligent, but because I get scared and tend to avoid many things. I also felt uncomfortable with the idea of graduating. I am currently almost finished with nursing school, and I find that I can only study and memorize things if I recognize patterns. I am the biggest procrastinator as well. I am struggling right now as I write this. I may be wrong. It could be some other form of neurodivergence, or maybe I’m just overthinking it. But I’ve always felt different, and that feeling seems to be getting stronger as I get older.