TW: Sexual Assault, Self-harm, Abuse
Background:
I dated a girl (let's call her "Sarah") for 1.5 years. Everything was going well, but at some point, she started to pull away. It started with her ignoring my texts for hours, followed by emotional coldness and refusing any physical intimacy. I could feel her slipping away every day, and it was agonizing. The last month of our relationship was a living hell — I was devastated, started drinking heavily, and even resorted to self-harm. During that time, my entire social circle turned their backs on me, and that’s exactly when she dumped me, claiming she had "depression."
Literally a week later, she was with a new guy. It was obvious they had been talking while we were still together. This betrayal destroyed my mental health. I spent over a year in severe depression; basic things like eating, sleeping, or studying were a struggle. However, I eventually managed to recover and get my life back on track.
Sarah’s Return:
Recently, Sarah reached out to me. She apologized, called herself a fool, and admitted she had treated me horribly. I told her I didn’t hold a grudge because I truly loved her. We started talking again, and she told me what she went through with that guy (let's call him "Alex").
Alex turned out to be a monster. He beat her, had constant outbursts of rage, and isolated her from all her friends. Once, in the middle of winter, he kicked her out of the house at night with almost no clothes on. At a party, another man harassed her, and Alex didn’t even try to protect her. Eventually, he tried to force her into making adult content, and when she refused, he SA’d her. Sarah managed to escape, but she didn’t go to the police because he threatened to kidnap her and sell her into sexual slavery. This man faced no consequences; he knows where she lives and continues to message her.
My Struggle:
Sarah is clearly taking the initiative now and seems to be hoping for more than just forgiveness. But what scares me is my own indifference. After hearing everything she went through, I feel absolutely nothing. It’s like my mind has built a concrete wall to protect itself.
My Question:
What should I do? On one hand, I feel bad for her as a human being. On the other hand, I remember the hell she put me through a year ago. Is it worth helping her or trying to reconcile, especially considering the danger her ex poses? And is it normal that I feel completely numb to her tragedy?
TL;DR: My ex cheated on me and left me for an abusive guy, causing me a year of severe depression. Now she’s back, revealing he SA’d and threatened her. She wants to reconcile, but I feel emotionally numb and indifferent.
UPDATE:
I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who supported me. It means a lot to hear your words of encouragement. I've read your comments and I agree with the majority: I can never trust her again. She belongs in my past. I know exactly what I went through to get my life back, and I will never give her the chance to destroy me again.
Many of you questioned the truthfulness of her story. Honestly? I don't know. It seems strange that she didn't go to the police, but if she is telling the truth, maybe she's just afraid of being judged or misunderstood. She said only a few people know about this. On the other hand, it could be another fabrication to try and crawl back into my life.
Either way, it doesn't change my path. I might point her toward some professional help, but I will never let her back into my life.
Thank you all again for listening and helping me find clarity. I am truly grateful.